Howdy
Folks and Kin,
I
tell y'all what, they say that every dark cloud has a silver linin'.
If you ask me, I say that every silver linin' has a dark cloud. Know
what I mean? I think y'all do! Last night our MIami Dolphins started
the regular season by losin' to them England Patroits. I feel worse
than a hound dog what puked and then ate it.
I
was hopin' for a much better showin' by our team, and I especially
had an eye out for 'Check Down' Hangin' Chad The Robot Henne. Now,
I'll be the first to admit that we fans have been mighty hard on that
yougin', but done brought the outhouse done on him by givin' away
'pick sixes' to opposin' teams and other such what not. Thankfully, I
think Chad has got his nuts and bolts and Ps and Qs on straight so
far this year. Last night I think he did the best could, and I'll be
the first to admit he done this team proud. As long as he keeps
rippin' off 20 yards checks and keeps throwin' the ball on target and
without thinkin' 'bout it, then that's better than snuff and ain't
half as dusty.
On
the other hand, them defensive boys were lookin uglier than a wart on
a toad's butt. In fact, I heard our corner backs, Davis and Smith,
got cramps! Cramps?!! There ain't no cramps in professional football!
And wheres in tarnation where our safeties?
If
you ask me, it's time to pop that practice field bubble! Our home
team advantage was always the blazin' sum and humidity. I remember in
the glory days, when some of them Northern teams would get so
tuckered out they looked liked a droopy pair of drawers on a skinny
hound dog. I remember the day them Yankees were just passin' out from
our climatical conditions. Today, it's us what is waddlin' around
with exhaustion, and to boot our team is askin' the NFL to get away
from 1:00pm kickoffs! It's a cryin' a shame! Where did all the 'real
football players' go? Might as well forget pads and jsut wear some of
them Armani suits to practice! Time to BURST THAT BUBBLE and get us
some wins!
By
the way, can somone tell me where in the heck did our runnin' game
go? I was happy we resigned that there big feller Larry Johnson, but
all I saw was Reggie Bush gettin' runnin' into lot's of folks
behinds. We need some us balance on offense, and we need it quick ... otherwise we might as well start handin' out some Butt Paste to some of our players!
As
for them Tom 'cheatin' Belichick and them Patriot, well, it don't
take no rocket scientist to know that cream always rises to the top.
Still, our defense looked like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit
every branch on the way down. Talk about bein' one can short of a
six-pack!
Oh
yeah, I also want to mention somethin' 'bout all the, holier than
thou types are as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o'
rocking chairs on account of former QB turned announcer Ron 'Jaws'
Jaworski said 'shit' on TV. Folks, if we can say 'scat' back, we can
certianly say 'shit'. Tell them censors they don't know jack shit
'bout shit if they be so worried 'bout that sort of shit. Now what I
mean? I think y'all do!
Now
I know it's only the 1st week, and well let's be honest we did play
against Tom Brady what just never gets his feathers ruffled. Lord
knows he's tougher than a one eared alley cat in heat. I hope Chad
Henne was watchin' on accout of he can a thing or two ... eventhough
he did right by me last night.
Better
luck next week boys! Anyways as always, Go Fins!
Links:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b26169e2014e8b845341970d
http://miamiherald.typepad.com/dolphins_in_depth/2011/09/patriots-put-cramp-in-the-dolphins-home-weather-advantage.html
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/sfl-tony-sparano-transcript-20110912,0,5209698.story
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