Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Cramps And Bubbles

Howdy Folks and Kin,
I tell y'all what, they say that every dark cloud has a silver linin'. If you ask me, I say that every silver linin' has a dark cloud. Know what I mean? I think y'all do! Last night our MIami Dolphins started the regular season by losin' to them England Patroits. I feel worse than a hound dog what puked and then ate it.
I was hopin' for a much better showin' by our team, and I especially had an eye out for 'Check Down' Hangin' Chad The Robot Henne. Now, I'll be the first to admit that we fans have been mighty hard on that yougin', but done brought the outhouse done on him by givin' away 'pick sixes' to opposin' teams and other such what not. Thankfully, I think Chad has got his nuts and bolts and Ps and Qs on straight so far this year. Last night I think he did the best could, and I'll be the first to admit he done this team proud. As long as he keeps rippin' off 20 yards checks and keeps throwin' the ball on target and without thinkin' 'bout it, then that's better than snuff and ain't half as dusty.
On the other hand, them defensive boys were lookin uglier than a wart on a toad's butt. In fact, I heard our corner backs, Davis and Smith, got cramps! Cramps?!! There ain't no cramps in professional football! And wheres in tarnation where our safeties?
If you ask me, it's time to pop that practice field bubble! Our home team advantage was always the blazin' sum and humidity. I remember in the glory days, when some of them Northern teams would get so tuckered out they looked liked a droopy pair of drawers on a skinny hound dog. I remember the day them Yankees were just passin' out from our climatical conditions. Today, it's us what is waddlin' around with exhaustion, and to boot our team is askin' the NFL to get away from 1:00pm kickoffs! It's a cryin' a shame! Where did all the 'real football players' go? Might as well forget pads and jsut wear some of them Armani suits to practice! Time to BURST THAT BUBBLE and get us some wins!
By the way, can somone tell me where in the heck did our runnin' game go? I was happy we resigned that there big feller Larry Johnson, but all I saw was Reggie Bush gettin' runnin' into lot's of folks behinds. We need some us balance on offense, and we need it quick ... otherwise we might as well start handin' out some Butt Paste to some of our players!
As for them Tom 'cheatin' Belichick and them Patriot, well, it don't take no rocket scientist to know that cream always rises to the top. Still, our defense looked like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Talk about bein' one can short of a six-pack!
Oh yeah, I also want to mention somethin' 'bout all the, holier than thou types are as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking chairs on account of former QB turned announcer Ron 'Jaws' Jaworski said 'shit' on TV. Folks, if we can say 'scat' back, we can certianly say 'shit'. Tell them censors they don't know jack shit 'bout shit if they be so worried 'bout that sort of shit. Now what I mean? I think y'all do!
Now I know it's only the 1st week, and well let's be honest we did play against Tom Brady what just never gets his feathers ruffled. Lord knows he's tougher than a one eared alley cat in heat. I hope Chad Henne was watchin' on accout of he can a thing or two ... eventhough he did right by me last night.
Better luck next week boys! Anyways as always, Go Fins!



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