Judd Jugmonger's NFL Playoff Picks - Sunday, January 24, 2010

Howdy Folks & Kin,

Since lot a y'all have been a pesterin' me about them NFL playoffs and who's a gonna win and who I think is a gonna do what not, I thought I might throw my two-bits and wooden nickels into the ring, especially as I ain't made them "Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks" fer a spell... and I tell ya'll good folks why in just a bit.

But first, regardin' this week's playoff games. Ok, I tell you what, if all a y'all really need my opinion here, then you must be ridin' the short bus to n' fro. It don't take no rocket scientist to tell what a rotten salami smells like, or that them Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints are a gonna win the Pabst Blue Ribbon this week. And them Minnesota Vikings and New York Jets, well I guess at the end the day, they're a gonna be shakin' their heads harder than a hound dog with both ticks and fleas!

Now first up, over in Indianapolis, Peyton Manning is a gonna face pretty boy Mark Sanchez... well not atually, but you know what I mean, I think you do. Now, I tell you what, I was surprised as all git out that them Jets wound up where they is today ... and I guess y'all have to give them coaches and players a hand .... and this week they'll a need a helpin' hand to git up off a their butts and off a the field!

Now why do I think them Jets is a gonna git the "butt turf" this week? Well, let's see now, it'a cause them Colts have a gotta make up fer that thar week 16 loss to them Jets, what destroyed their quest fer the "perfect seaon", - a glorious distinction that only my Miami Dolphins still can claim. They're ain't on claim jumoers this year. Uh, anyway, so even though them Colts let their starters take a nap that week - their's a gonna be some payback this week.

By the same jitney token, over in New Orleans, Burt Favre might just need a walkin' stick and help his and his Vikings off a the field. Turth is they given' us all a great ride this season to make up fer all that fetootin' "is he retired, or is he aint" fodder. But, I just don't think ole Burt's a got anymore drops a Geritol in his jug, to keep him and his team from bein' knocked off the grid-iron and onto the shuffle board courts, - like what they used to gots in Miami Beach back in it's day. I may be wrong, but I think Drew "call him the breeze" Brees is just a gonna pick apart that thar Minnesota defense.... assuming them Vikings' rush don't git to him first! I just don't think ole' Burt is a gonna be able to keep up. It's a gonna be a great game, though. Heck, even that thar Colts / Jets match up will be fun to watch.

Now, uh, Mark Sanchez, here a tip - if a you want to avoid eatin' some dirt this week ... you best just keep a handin' that ball off. Who knows, you may even come out smellin' like a rose... or a tulip. Probably not, though.

So folks, go with them Colts. ... and don't ferget, go with them Saints, too. Why heck, I even spun my little pigskin, and it sure did point to what it was I was just sayin.

All right that's thar's my picks fer this week's playoff. Now, as fer me and where I been, well, I've been a real busy doin' some tourin' and bein' in and out of the studio. The "Jugmongers Bluegrass Band" is almost through with our "Live At the Hootenanny" record we is doin'. That's a kept me from makin' my podcast and doin' this here blog. Also, well to be honest, it's taken me this long to recover from them' Miami Dolphin's a not gittin' into the playoffs and all. Shucks, they wasn't exactly playin' playoff caliber anyways - but, well, even when you know your beer's gone flat, you still hope there might be some fizz left in that thar bottle anyway.

The other good news, is that in a few weeks I'll be doin' some podcasts again - but this one's a gonna be about music! I'll also give y'all some prognostications and picks on some other sports, too ... so those a y'all what have made some big money from my picks, what I gave you this year .... well, you'll have something to listen to, too! Stay tuned! It's a gonna be a good one.

Lastly, but not leastly, I've been puttin' together some playlists a unsigned artists what I like over on myspace. If y'all want to hear some great music and support them artists, look fer my playlist what is: "Judd Jugmonger's Favorites This Week". It's at: http://www.myspace.com/jugmongers

In the meantime, don't ferget to git on over to our website, and send us your .... well, you know the tune, so time to pay your dues! It's: http://www.jugmongers.com/ - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and dig deep into your pockets! And, while your at it, why don'tcha be kind enough to help out some of those poor folks over thar in Haiti, what are havin' a terrible time. Here's a link where y'all can help! http://www.redcross.org/

Ok. so this here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a wisdom: If the road rises up to meet you, and the wind is at your back, you might just be in a hurricane!

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 17

Well howdy folks and kin! And, Happy Holidays, Happy Holiday this here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe'. Well, Happy New Year and Decade. I got me muh picks fer week 17 of the NFL. That thar is the National Football League, the playoffs are around the corner and so is rehab for most football fans whose teams ain't in the Super Bowl hunt. I know they'll be lots a cryin' once this weeks games is played .... so now might be a good time to invest in Kleenex. Well let's get on it.

Indianapolis Colts (14-1) at Buffalo Bills (5-10)
All right first up we got us them formerly undefeated Colts vs. them Bills. Seems like lots a folks are pretty pissed off at them Indianapolis boys fer letting them Jets win a game just so they can rest their stars fer the playoffs. On one hand it makes good sense if the prize what ya gots your eyes on is the Superbowl. The big question is, will them stars be a no show again this week? I believe the answer is yes... but I also believe them Buffalo boys will look a gift horse in the mouth anyway.

San Francisco 49ers (7-8) at St. Louis Rams (1-14)
All right, well let's be honest folks, most teams will be playin' for pride this week ... but some teams, well they just go no pride. So that brings us to them 1 and 14 Rams and well, they play them 49ers, what have actually been on a hot winning streak. Don't need no rocket scientist to know that them San Francisco boys will do their thing ... and so will them "poor Rams". And, you know what? Everyone will win .... them 49ers finish the year on an up note and them St. Louis boys will win a better chance at gittin' themselves a high draft pick. In the end, fer some , that's all that matters anyway.

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7) at Miami Dolphins (7-8)
Ok, next up us muh Dolphins vs. them Steelers. Wildcard hope and prayers fer all. Them Pittsburgh boys gots them a better chance than them Miami boys what's got lots a players feelin' poorly. Can them Fins win this game and with help from 4 other teams back themselves into the playoffs? Or will they back themselves into the off season corner? I'll take the former, though I suspect it might be the latter. This one is a toss-up. This game will come down to how badly them Miami boys want to save face. If yer bettin' be safe and go with them Steelers ... if yer looking fer a big payoff, go with them fins. It's as simple as that.

New England Patriots (10-5) at Houston Texans (8-7)
All right now we got us them Patriots vs. them Texas. Heck, ole' Belicheck is a gonna do what them Colts did last week: rest their stars. They is in them playoffs and it don't make much of a hoo-ha whether they win or lose. Them Houston boys want in them playoff ... so they'll have to beat them New England's 2nd best. Will it happen? Most folks think so .... I think not. Go with them Pats. Sorry Hoss.

Cincinnati Bengals (10-5) at New York Jets (8-7)
Ok, now we go us them Bengal vs. them Jets. Them Cincinnati boys are in the playoffs and them them Jets need them some help to make it as wildcards. So that thar pretty boy, Mark Sanchez, ought to have somethin' to prove. Will them Cincinatti boys give him the key to the short bus to ride home from the stadium? I reckon so. Them Jets will surely fight hard, though.

Chicago Bears (6-9) at Detroit Lions (2-13)
All right, that brings to us the closest thing we got to the Stinker Bowl this well. That's right folks, when you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, git ye' your clothes pins and stick them on your nose! Cause it's the Stinker Bowl! And this week, wavin' their banners low is them 2 and 13 Lions, vs. them 6 and 9 Bears. Them Chicago boys have been teddy bears all seasons. But, this week them Detroit boys will make them look like Grizzlies.

Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8) at Cleveland Browns (4-11)
Ok, it's ain't no Stinker Bowl... but it smells just as bad. Its them Jaguars vs. them Browns. Ok, so them Cleveland boys have been on a roll them past 3 weeks. I reckon they won't make it 4 in row though. Them Jacksonville boys, with even a further outside chance than them Fins to make the playoffs will give it their all and turn them Browns, black and blue.

New York Giants (8-7) at Minnesota Vikings (11-4)
All right now we got us them 8 and 7 Giants vs. them 11 and 4 Vikings. Burt Favre ain't gonan let no Eli Manning show him up this week. So go with them Minnesota boys. Them Giants will try hard ... but I think ole Favre will ride them harder and put them up wet.

Atlanta Falcons (8-7) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-12)
Ok now it's another "don't man a thang" game. It's them Falcons vs. them Buccaneers. Heck, thar's no surprise here. Them Atlanta boys will fly high over Tampa Bay. No yo-ho-ho here ... only despair as them Buccaneers disappear... them Falcons, too. See ya the draft boys!

Philadelphia Eagles (11-4) at Dallas Cowboys (10-5)
All right, now we got us a real game. It's them 11 and 4 Eagles vs. them 10 and 5 Cowboys. Them birdies are tops a their division and the, Cowboys are wildcards. It's a big big game fer both teams what want show the world what they is a made of. Fer this game, I spun me my little pigskin and it pointed to them Dallas Boys. See, most likely, them Eagles know they might play them again in the playoffs ... so why show them their hand this week? Them birdies take it a bit easy and give them Cowboys some false securities. See folks, it all comes down to psychologies.

New Orleans Saints (13-2) at Carolina Panthers (7-8)
Ok, so here's an easy one. It's them Saints vs. them Panthers. Them Carolina boys are playin' hard lately, but see, despite them New Orleans boys' breakdowns I still think they is are a gonna won't to show everyone why it is that they is in the playoffs and them Panthers aint'. Go with them holy boys.

Kansas City Chiefs (3-12) at Denver Broncos (8-7)
Baltimore Ravens (8-7) at Oakland Raiders (5-10)
All right, here's a few easy ones. It's them Wildcard wanna-be Broncos vs. them lowly Chiefs and them playoff wanna-be Ravens vs. them Raiders Go with them Denver and Baltimore boys what will be playin' fer their very lives.

Green Bay Packers (10-5) at Arizona Cardinals (10-5)
Ok, yonder come them Packers vs. them Cardinals. Both teams are 10 and 5 and both of them in the playoffs. Them boys from Arizona ain't got nothin' to prove as division leaders and them boys from Green Boys have somethin' to prove as wildcards. I'll take them Cardinals who'll want to send a message to them rest a the league. I think them Packers are a gonna git tar and feathered.

Tennessee Titans (7-8) at Seattle Seahawks (5-10)
Ok, from the "who cares" file, it's them 7 and 8 Titans vs. them 5 and 10 Seahawks. Folks, just go with the better record. The big boys will squash them birdies.

Washington Redskins (4-11) at San Diego Chargers (12-3)
Alright, now we got some Monday Night Football! Its them playoff bound Chargers vs. them homeward Redskins. This one reads like gangbusters. Crack, zap and whack ... and off them Washington boys go to the off-season. no surprises here.

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, them holidays have come and go ... but I'm still in the need of some dough. So, start off the year right by not fergettin' me ... and yes, I'm talking to all you folks what will be buyin' startin' the year in teh green what with all that money from my picks what I just gave you . Heck, if y'all all can give ole' Rick Warren 2.4 million dollars in 48 hours .... well, you know the tune, so git on over to www.jugmongers.com - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and dig deep into your pockets.

Ok, so this here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a wisdom: if you want to sit high in the cotton, ya gots to rise above them thorns.

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 16

Well howdy folks and kin! And, Happy Holidays, Happy Holidays this here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe', Happy Holidays to you. And I'm back with a bit more than a Season's Greetin' to y'all. I got me muh picks fer week 16 of the NFL. That thar is the National Football League, where at this time of year, some teams are in the playoffs, and them others, well they are just plain switched off! Now I was on the road with my Bluegrass band playing some country holiday classics at some hootenannies fer the last couple a weeks ... and uh ... what with Christmas and uh all that thar eatin' to be done last week ... well I was a busier than Rooster in the Hen house gittin' them groceries over to muh place and gittin' my eatin sticks sharpened and what not. I hope y'all had a "very merry" and gastonomical affair these past few days. I also hope y'all got what y'all wanted from Santy Claus. Hope y'all didn't git no lumps a coal cause they can't be exchanged. As fer this week's games... well let's get on it.

Buffalo Bills (5-9) at Atlanta Falcons (7-7)
Ok, first up we got us them Bills and them Falcons. Them Atlanta boys ain't goin' to the playoffs, and ... well, I ain't done the math, but I reckon that neither are them Buffalo boys. But them birdies do have somethin' to play for and that is a winnin' record ... in fact they can make it 2 years in row beginnin' this weekend. So go with the motivation and give them Bills the chills.

Kansas City Chiefs (3-11) at Cincinnati Bengals (9-5)
Ok, nest is them 3 and 11 Chiefs vs. them 9 and 5 Bengals. They say, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Well, the kitties have their "try and try again" to get them in the payoffs. They is a gonna try again. I think playin' them lowly Chiefs is a blessin' from above. Know what I mean? I think you do.

Oakland Raiders (5-9) at Cleveland Browns (3-11)
Alright. Now we got us them Raider and them Brown. Let's see here ... them Raiders ain't playin' for nothing and them Brown, at least are playing for their new Team manager ... and whoever it is is a gonna be their new coach come the end of the season. So who's gonna suck it up the most and win the Pabst Blue Ribbon? Well, I tell you what, I think it's gonna be them Cleveland boys.

Seattle Seahawks (5-9) at Green Bay Packers (9-5)
Ok, up next is them Seahawks vs. the, play off bound Packers. Do to do to do to do ... ok heck folks, you know it's them Packers what gonna win this here game. Them Seattle boys lost to Tampa Bay last week and got them some lumps a coal form ole' Santa ... what does that tell you?

Houston Texans (7-7) at Miami Dolphins (7-7)
All right now it's my Dolphins vs. them Texans. Both teams are 7 and 7 and in the playoff hunt. But only ones comes away with a winning record ... in the end there can only be one. I'm gonna give Miami the edge here ... only cause they know they is a gonna have to make up for that thar disappointing loss last week. Don't let me down boys. As fer them Houston boys ... well sorry, Hoss. If ya don't like my pick I guess ya can go argue with a fence post.

Jacksonville Jaguars (7-7) at New England Patriots (9-5)
Next up is them Patriots and them Jaguars. Tom Brady and Company look to make it to the postseason with here, and them boys from Jacksonville. well they is still in the hunt, but is they hungry enough to claw them New England boys? I tell you what, I smell an upset in the making here, folks. I think them Patriots will ride the short bus home from the stadium. If not, it's gonna be a close one.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-12) at New Orleans Saints (13-1)
Ok, yonder come them 13 and 1 Saints and them 2 and 12 Buccaneers. Yo-ho-ho? Ho-ho-no! Saints all the way!

Carolina Panthers (6-8) at New York Giants (8-6)
All right, now we got us them Panthers and them Giants. Them Carolina boys ain't in the playoffs, and them Giants are still lookin' fer the door in. Desperation ... desperation .... Eli Manning is desperate ... and that ain't good fer them Panthers.

St. Louis Rams (1-13) at Arizona Cardinals (9-5)
Ok, now we got us them Cardinals. Poor Cardinals. You know why? Cause they get to play them poor Rams. It ain't no stinker bowl ... cause them Arizoney boys are in the playoff. But seein' how foul them Rams is ... well we just hope some of that stink don't rub off a them. Go with Cardinals ... duh.

Baltimore Ravens (8-6) at Pittsburgh Steelers (7-7)
Alright now we got us them Ravens and them Steelers. Them Baltimore boys are wildcards and them Steelers boys are wanna be's. They is gonna be a dottin' them eyes and crossin' them Ts and whatever else it is they gots. I think them metal heads are hungrier than them birdies.... but still, I think them birdies are gonna peck a few holes in them Pittsburgh boys. Go with them Ravens and to the Steelers say, nevermore.

Detroit Lions (2-12) at San Francisco 49ers (6-8)
Alright it ain't them Rams and it ain't Buccaneers but it sure smells like the Stinker Bowl to me. That's right folks, when you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, git ye' your clothes pins and stick them on your nose! Cause it's the Stinker Bowl! And this week, wavin' their banners low is them 2 and 12 Lions and then 6 and 8 49ers. I tell you what that thar is a lots a numbers ... but they all add up to a win fer them San Francisco treats. Detroit .... well thar ain't much to say thar except ... peeyoo!

New York Jets (7-7) at Indianapolis Colts (14-0)
Ok, next up is them 7 and 7 Jets vs. them un beaten Colts. Hey, what do you say that Matt Ryan decides he's got somethin' to prove against Peyton Manning? Is that a chance that them Colts lose this week? Maybe so ... it's hard to imagine .. but if y'all want to win some big money go with them Jets. I think them Indianapolis boys are gonna do their regular bang up job ... but I tell you what ... I got an itch wants to be scratched ... so officially, I'm gonna on a record by sayin' this may be the week, them Colts don't smell pay dirt.

Denver Broncos (8-6) at Philadelphia Eagles (10-4)
All right now we got us them Broncos vs. them Eagles. The Philadelphia boys are in them playoffs and them Denver boys are wild cards. So I just spun me my little pigskin on this one and it pointed to them Eagles. What do you say about that? Not much I reckon ... unless your them Broncos.

Dallas Cowboys (9-5) at Washington Redskins (4-10)
Hey, now we got us some Cowboys and Injuns. Dallas is a wildcard team ... Washington, well they could play in the Stinker Bowl. Tony Romo ... that's all you need to hear folks.

Minnesota Vikings (11-3) at Chicago Bears (5-9)
Alright, now we got some Monday Night Football! It's them 11 and 3 Vikings vs. them 5 and 9 Bears. With 2 straight losses under his belt, Bert Favre might need him a little teddy bear to make him feel snuggly wuggly. I reckon he'll have his pick this week. It don't look good fer them Chicago boys who is a gonna git skint.
All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, Christmas my be over, but the spirit of givin' is till upon us .. especially those what will be buyin' some cases of New Year's champagne what with all that money from my picks what I just gave you . So don't ferget me! I still got a few payments left on that that Telecaster what I got on layaway. So git on over to www.jugmongers.com - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with a few seasonal greetin's, you know ... them green one.
Ok. so this here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a sagely advice: "Should old acquaintances be forgot ... go ahead and make them a barbecue."