Howdy, Folks n’ Kin!
This here is Judd Jugmonger with an idear what is new! Now I ain’t askin’ fer no noble peace prize or nothin’, but I got me a proposal fer somethin’ what ain’t been done before. That’s right! So here it is … a Freegan Festival right here in Miami! In fact, I think Brickell, what we also call the Financial District, is the right place fer that.
Right here in Brickell, I see folks livin’ high on the hog; they surely is sittin’ in some high cotton, that’s fer sure. But you know how it is, some of them here in the 305 is fakin’ it till they be makin’ it! So, I also see lotsa folks what cain’t afford a decent meal! They ain’t even got a pot to piss in, nor two nickels to rub together, even though they be sportin' some Gucci and Versace, and what have you. That’s why I think it’s a good idear fer a Freegan Festival right here in Miami, DadeCounty—to bring folks together, to share what we all done dumped, and to talk about a better, more sustainable way to live in this here city with blue skies on lots of them days.
Now, everyone knows here in Brickell, we got them little doggy poop stations on every corner, but I ain’t seen too many garbage cans none. That thar’s a real problem! Where does all that uneaten food go to from all them high-falutin’ fancy restaurants where all the skinny folks go and pick at their salad?
We should have dumpsters on every block, because of all the tossed out food, and a lot of it’s still good! In fact, right behind the Publix, they’re throwing out plenty, but instead of just guardin’ it, those scraps could be shared with the public!
Also, we need this Freegan Festival right here in Brickell, because the truth is, the quality of what gets thrown out here is often much better than some other parts of town. In a neighborhood full of wealth, there’s lots of wasted food—things still good, just waitin’ to be shared. By startin’ here, we set a higher standard—because if it can happen here, it can happen anywhere—just like in New York, except fer them Jets! Know what I mean? I think ya do.
Here in Brickell, the cost of livin’ is sky-high—people be payin' over $3,500 just fer a small apartment, and lotsa folk are barely holding on. Speakin’ of holdin’ on … with a freegan festival we might also cut down on them poor balcony jumpers what our county commiserators don’t want them news stations to talk ‘bout none. You know how it is in these tourist parts.
But, gettin’ back to the costt of livin’, I’ve heard some folks, especially social workers and service workers, payin’ a thousand dollars a month just fer a dirty mattress on the floor in some backroom office—no bathroom, just bare bones. That’s why, if we bring a Freegan Festival here, we can show just how outta balance this is—so many scraps going to waste, while real folks just try to get by—right here in the Magic City.
The beauty of this idear is it don’t have to be all organized in one spot. We don’t need no centralization; we ain’t no communists none! And, we don’t have to pay fer no rows of porta-potty outhouses, on account of in Brickell they’s gots lots doggy poop stations and them little baggies. It ain’t fer some, but beggars can’t be choosers. You know how it is.
So again, we don’t need no big park nor a central meetin’ place. We just say, "this here is the area—right where them garbage cans and dumpsters is." And, we ask those high-end eateries to give us what they’d normally throw out. We just put some dumpsters out on the corner, and people can come by and take what they need—no big fuss, just folks helpin’ folks. That thar’s the American spirit! Freedom comes from the word Free and, well, “Freegan!” There ya go!
We all need a seat at the table, even if the Freegan Festival ain’t gonna have none. No matter where we come from, Miami is a multicultural city, and right here in Brickell, it’s the same. Yes, we got us different income levels, different education. Sure, we got us our fashionistas and them social-influenzers, folks from up north—them snowbirds—heck, even some Frenchy Canadians. And all of them Latinos—Julios, Juliets, and everyone. No matter their background, they belong in the same corner—at the dumpster—to come together.
It don’t make no difference none what language y’all speak, because here in Miami, we gots a lot of languages—heck, even in Florida, we got us three official languages. I know Donald Trump don’t like that none, but that’s how it is. It don’t make no difference what language y’all speak—if you got a mouth, a stomach, and an appetite, y’all are in like Flynn at the Freegan Festival!
And all this, this sharing, this comin' together—it ain't just about hunger; it’s 'bout us buildin' a better future. When we waste less food, we cut down on trash, we lower our carbon footprint, and we fight back against that thar climate crisis. So this Freegan Festival is ‘bout more than food and feedin’ your snouts—it’s about livin’ smarter, stayin’ connected, and makin’ sure we all have a place in this city, under the same blue sky. That’s American as apple pie—and just maybe y’all can find some slices of aplpe pie in one of them dumpsters compliments of all the 7-elevens and all them Cuban bakeries—some ham croquettes, too! Just imagine them culinarian and epicurious possibilities!
Now let me tell y’all another thing what makes this Freegan Festival such a fine idear. See, them supermarkets ‘round Miami done jacked up their prices so high a turkey buzzard would git a nosebleed flyin’ over them. Folks walk in them supermarkets hopin’ to buy groceries and walk out holdin’ their empty wallets like they’s goin’ to an undertaker’s ball. But here’s the funny part! Them same stores what refuse to lower prices got themselves dumpsters full of perfectly good food what didn’t sell before them expiration stickers done scared everybody off. So instead of lettin’ all that bread, fruit, croquettes, and fancy yogurt cups rot behind a locked gate, why not roll them dumpsters right out onto the sidewalk where good folks can make proper use of them? If them stores insist on price gougin’ till them shelves look like a shuttered mall, then the least they can do is let them leftovers rejoin the public what paid for the whole system in the first place! After all, if the prices ain’t comin’ down, them dumpsters might as well come out! Know what I mean? I think ya do!
Now so far, this here is just an idear, but I went on over to my friends at the Dada Bloq, and told them ‘bout it some. They said it was good! They even put together some primal pictures what we can use to git the ball rollin’. I used them in this here post to give all y’all the spirit of the thing. So, they’s a gonna help to organize this and all y’all out thar what wanna lend a hand, or git yourselves a helpin’ hand can stay tuned and follow along as we put this together. And don't ferget, thar's gonna be lotsa branding and marketin' and social-influezerin' opportunities fer all y'all bigwigs to jump in on with this here gastronomical cultural event. Together we can—on account that’s how feasts and free-fer-alls are made. Know what I mean? I think ya do.
All the best,
Judd ðŸª
PS. Before y'all head out, take a gander at this here book what I is in! That's right! It's called Trickers, Crackers and Gods! It's on Amazon and it's cheaper if'in y'all git it on the Kindle. Go and tell all y'all's friends n' kin to go n' git it, too.
