Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bloomers, Blue Moons and Buddhist Philosophy

Howdy Folks & Kin,

It seems them Buddhist fellers were right when they said "all things are connected". Even that thar fiddle player and part-time astrophysicist, Albert Einstein, said that time and space are related. Only problem is, I hear lots a folks complainin' that they ain't got much time, or ever the time of day! So, I reckon we is runnin' out of space as well, just like them critters in the Amazon Rain Forests, or them swimmers what is runnin' out of clean tar-ball free beaches, thanks to that thar BP Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Now, speakin' of space travel, yesterday I was watchin' the launch of that thar SpaceX rocket, which them BIG BUSINESS and Military types expect will carry space cargo in the years to come, instead of them Space Shuttles. Them old space pickups are gettin' on in years and are set to retire. Now the truth is that SpaceX is a really a good thing fer the American economy. Heck, even them revenuers are over the moon about SpaceX, cause they ain't too happy with the prospects of losin' that that thar tax revenue to the European Space Agency (ESA), what launches them rockets over thar in France, the land what gave us heck us about our French Fries when we remaned them Freedom Fries. So, we sure don't want them French folk gettin' them hands on our Military satellites, especially on account of they is kin folk with them French Canadians what live just over the border. And we surely need to keep our eyes on them! See how them dots connect?

Now I bet y'all didn't know it, but ever since I was a youngin', I have loved space travel. Fer awhile, on account that I could jump real high and liked to shoot off them bottle rockets, some kin fancied that one day I might be the first Jugmonger to play the harmonica on the moon! Of course, later I found out that them astronauts had to know a thing or two about trigonometry. Now, I know lots about twigs and also gastronomy but them is completely different things! So the long short of it is, that I don't do no space travel, unless of course, I've had one nip too many! Know what I mean? I think you do! Some dots just don't connect.

But anyways, as I was talkin' about connections, did y'all know that that SpaceX was founded by Elon Musk, the man responsible for PayPal? Now, I use Paypal fer buyin' me some guitar accessories and wooden nickels on Ebay. Of course, Ebay just happens to own Paypal. So thar you go! SpaceX - Paypal - Ebay - Judd Jugmongers. So go ahead and connect them dots!

Now, I ain't no stock broker or banker, but I might think about buyin' some stock in them companies. And, when y'all git rich, don't ferget to come back to my blog here and do right by me by makin' a little donation usin' Paypal and the link I got set up over on the left sidebar of this here blog.

Alright, here is some more connections: now, the father of Bluegrass, Bill Monroe, sang "Blue Moon of Kentucky" and so did the King, Elvis Presley, and so did Patsy Cline! Ain't that somethin'? Also, them good folks over thar at "Blue Moon Brewing Company" got them some good beer what they suggest ya'll drink with an orange. Oranges are grown in Florida, where I hail from. So again, thar you go! Bluegrass-Bill Monroe -Elvis Presley - Beer - Oranges - Florida - Jugmongers. Heck with all them connections y'all would think I got it made! (I don't. I'm just a poor old hungry strugglin' artist ... did I mention that donation link I got over thar to the right?)

Ok, let's do one more dot to dot connections to bear out that thar Buddhist philosophy about connections and dot to dot and what not: Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton used to party hearty together. Now from what I hear, apparently all them youngin's got more holes in their bloomers than my boxers, which is one of the reasons I don't wear them none too often! And, apparently neither do they! Now, Paris Hilton's grandpappy was Conrad Hilton what founded them Hilton Hotels. Them Hilton Hotels used to run that thar Fountainbleau Hotel over yonder on Miami Beach, Florida. I once got run out of that thar hotel's lobby, cause I reckon they didn't take to my harmonica playin' none. So thar you go! Lindsay Lohan - Britney Spears - Paris Hilton - Hilton Hotels - the Fountainbleau Hotel - Miami Beach - Judd Jugmonger. BUTT, even though I got some connections to them youngin's what like to party hearty with no bloomers on - none of them never once called me! Not even once! (but really that's ok, can cause I still got me my swety deety, Jolene!)

To make matters worse, the Fountainblaeu Hotel was built on the former estate home of Harvey Firestone, the founder of Firestone Tire and Rubber. In all my drivin' days I used to buy them Firestone Tires! Despite our connections, them Firestones never did call me neither! I reckon, I'm just not that popular in some circles.

So folks, in the fabrics of space and time thar's lots to consider. The apparent randomness of events all play a part in the grand symphony of the universe. We is all brothers, sisters and kinfolk somehow what need to share this big ole Pale Blue Dot in the time space continuum. And finally, if they can put a man on the moon, you'd reckon that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or even Britney Spears could give me a call!

All the best,
- Judd Jugmonger

PS. Fer all y'all what like to read by philosophy and what not by moonshine, here are some books I recommend what might help ya out.

Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in SpaceBuddhism For DummiesCrooked Cucumber: The Life and Zen Teaching of Shunryu SuzukiChaos: Making a New ScienceIt's ONLY Rocket Science: An Introduction in Plain English (Astronomers' Universe)

No comments: