Sunday, October 3, 2010
Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - 2010 - Week 4
Howdy Folks and Kin!
It's week 4 of the NFL season and I just updated my weekly podcast in what I give my picks fer the week. The podcast is on I-Tunes, and y'all can also download them episodes in MP3 format right here over on the sidebar. Now, for all y'all what don't like my voice none, I post the podcast transcripts right here below. Good luck and don't ferget me when y'all win big!
Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, and hey, I'm once again here live from the Katywonkered Cafe' to get y'all fixed up with my picks fer the 2010 NFL football season. That thar is the National Football League, where some teams are like possums on account of they play dead at home and get themselves killed on the road! Speaking of roadkill, last week thar was lots of upsets, but also some long shots what came in, Like I told they would. Now, this week, it's muddy waters fer some teams, and the open road fer some others. So let's get on it and get'er done.....
Baltimore Ravens (2-1) at Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0):
Ok, first up we got us them 2 and 1 Ravens vs. them 3 and 0 Steelers. I reckon this here is gonna be a good game, maybe even the game of the week, right off the bat! Y'all have to give them Pittsburgh boys credit fer keepin' the gravy train of wins a runnin' without their startin' gunslinger, Ben Rothlislinger, uh, berger what's been in the NFL pen fer the last 4 weeks. He get's paroled on Monday and comes back to a team what's been in caretaker mode since his suspension, and what is runnin' out of QBs, but quick! Meanwhile them Baltimore birdies have the number 1 ranked defense in the league, even though I think they could use some something to stop them other teams from gettin' the runs. Still, I reckon, QB Joe Flacco, the whacko, what still hasn't won on Heinz field, is gonna team up with Anakin Skywalker, uh, I mean Anquan Boldin, to remind them Steelers just how important a stable QB is. Go with them Ravens what will melt down them Steelers this week.
Detroit Lions (0-3) at Green Bay Packers 2-1):
Alright, next up we got us them 0 and3 Lions what go a visitin' them 2 and 1 Packers. Well folk, thar ain't much to say here. Them Detroit kitties is almost last in the league in defense, and well heck, I ain't sure they got themselves an offense. Back up QB, Shaun Hill oughtsta change his name to Sam, as in What the Sam Hill is goin' over here with them 5 interceptions? Now, Them Green Bay boys lost last week, and y'all know that they ain't gonna make that 2 in a row. So go with them Packers what will pack up them Lions and make canned spam of them.
Carolina Panthers (0-3) at New Orleans Saints (2-1):
Alright, yonder come them 0 and 3 Panthers vs. them 2 and 1 Saints. Last week, them Saints took a long fall from heaven when they lost to them Falcons on account of that thar botched field goal. So this past week they went and got them a new kicker. QB Drew "call him the breeze" Brees is tryin' to compensate for the runnin' game what's been so dry ... well, put it this way, if the backfield were trees they'd be so dry they'd have bribe some dogs fer some action. Maybe they need more fiber or pruneys in their diet, I don't know. As for them Carolina kitties, well they ain't been the cat's meow in quite a while. QB Matt Moore, fresh from lala land, was benched and QB Jimmy Olsen, uh, I mean Clausen, you know like them dill pickles? Well, thar that Gherkin got him an interception and lost two fumbles last week. "Nothin' could be finer than to be in Caroliner"... except for them Panthers. Go with them Saints!
San Francisco 49ers (0-3) at Atlanta Falcons (2-1):
Ok, it's them 0 and 3 49ers what pay a visit to them 2 and 2 Falcons. Well, it looks like some fans are gettin' their lobster pots out to boil Mike Singletary on account of his team's poor poor pitiful start. Ok, so now them 49ers got them a new offensive coordinator. If y'all ask me, they need a new QB, on account of Alex Smith, with 5 give aways is no San Francisco treat. Know what I mean? I think y'all do. Now them Falcons is doin' what they can to improve week by week, and QB Matt Ryan and his backfield have been rackin' up the yardage and them points. So I say, go with them birdies what will run the numbers on them 49ers!
New York Jets (2-1) at Buffalo Bills (0-3):
Alright, now we got us them Jets vs. then 0 and 3 Bills. Look like them hard knockin' metal birdies' playin' has finally caught up with their mouths. After last week's win over my fins, I'd say them Jets will wanting be a wanting to turn on the afterburners and take the division lead. QB Mark Sanchez (smile pretty) played well enough last week to earn my respect, even though Chad Henne, not Penny, played better. Meanwhile them Bills finally benched QB Trent Edwards and finally let Ryan Fitzpatrick take his shot, what fared somewhat better last week, even though they still lost to them Patriots. Will this be the week them Bills turn it around? Will that youngin' C.J. Spiller get him the runs? Well folks, I'd like to see that happen, but I think them Jets have reached cruisin' altitude and, well, their auto-pilot will drop a heavy load on them Buffalo BIlls, what are lookin' more like Duck Bills, if ya ask me. Go with them Jets what are cleared fer take off.
Denver Broncos (1-2) at Tennessee Titans (2-1):
Ok, now we got us them 1 and 2 Broncos vs. them 2 and 1 Titans. Heck, this here's another easy one. Them Tennessee bluegrass big boys are flyin high form their win over them Giants last week, and them Broncos what oughtsta be bustin' broncos are playin' more like pracin' unicorns. If y'all ain't never ate no horsemeat before, I reckon the price per pound over thar in Denver is droppin' like dead flies. So, get on over thar and get some before it's all gone. Oh, and Denver RB Knowshon was a no show last week, (hehehe) I just had to say that. Go with them Titans what will take the Pabst Blue Ribbon this week!
Alright, now we got us them 2 and 1 Seahawks vs them 1 and 2 Rams. I tell y'all what, them "poor " Rams surely made me eat some crow last week by beatin' them Redskins. Surprise, surprise! But the real question is will they do it again this week? Now, I like that thar youngin' QB Sam Bradford what had a good game last week, and will be a wantin' to take advantage of a Seattle defense what are 1 can short of a six-pack on account of they gave up 455 yards last week to them Chargers. Still, I think that them San Diego birdies have got enough in their engine, especially their special teams' engine, to roll over them Rams. QB David Hasselhoff .. uh I mean Matt Hasselback will try to remind us all they got them an offense, too! Hey, I want to give a big salute to that thar Seattle special teamer Leon Washington what had two kickoff returns for touchdowns! 99 yards and them some! Them was things of beauty. I swear, that boy oughtsta be in NASCAR. He can say "hello" to Danica Patrick fer me so I can hear her say, Go Daddy ... and y'all oughtsta go with them Seahawks, too!
Cincinnati Bengals (2-1) at Cleveland Browns (0-3):
(Doo do te do do do) Ok, we're back and it's time to watch where y'all step! Cause accordin' to my observatorials and prognostinationals ..... (drum roll) it's the stinker bowl! "When ye are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, go and git your clothes pins and stick them on your nose, cause it's the weekly stinker bowl! And, this week, comin' into the stadium a wavin' their banner's low are them 2 and 1 Bengals what pay their respects to them 0 and 3 Browns. Now them Cincinnati kitties won last week somehow, even though it wasn't purty, but a win is still a win, and they sure did won themselves one. Them Browns found themselves a bit of a runnin' game in RB Peyton Hillis what ran fer like 144 yards last week. Now it looks like ole QB Jake Delhomme will be back up and runnin' after 2 weeks of hobblin' around like that thar little green fellow, Yoda. Ok, so I prognosticate that this is the week them Browns turn it around. It ain't a long-shot, but I think them Cleveland Browns have had enough of gettin' flushed each week. Then I again, I may be wrong.
Indianapolis Colts (2-1) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2):
Ok, here's another game what y'all don't need a rocket scientist to figure out. It's them 2 and 1 Colts vs. them 1 and 2 Jaguars. Peyton Manning and co. are a gonna get out their Colt 45s and just blow them kitties away, plain and simple. Folks, if y'all like to see one team run up them numbers on another team, this here is the game fer you. It's gonna git as ugly as a possum's behind, and them Jaguars are gonna git neutered! QB David Garrard must be thinkin' to himself "now why on Earth would my team want to go and pick up QB Trent Edwards off them waivers last week? Hmmm...". The short story folks, is ... that them Jaguars take the short bus home from the stadium. And that's all she wrote.
Houston Texans (2-1) at Oakland Raiders (1-2):
Ok, next up is them 2 and 1 Texans vs. them 1 and 2 Raiders. Them Two Steppin' Texans got themselves two left feet last week as they got tripped up by them Dallas Cowboys what roped and rid them hard. The big question is ... will it happen again this week? QB Matt Schaub looked more like that thar investment banker Charles Schwab. Them Raiders played a good game, but that thar kicker, Sebastian Jacuzzie, uh ... Janitorowksi, uh ... well y'all know who I mean! - He missed three field goals and cost them the game! Now last week, I thought fer sure them Texans would win, but I was proven wrong! So, this week I spun me my little pigskin, and it pointed to them Texans again ... even though I got me the heebie jeebies over this one. So go with them Texans, but, as they say in France, Caviar Emptor!
Ok, now we got us them 2 and 1 Cardinals vs. them 1 and 2 Chargers. Them Chargers haven't had too much zap this season so far. Maybe it's on account that they're feelin' poorly. They got them some injuries in their backfield, their offensive front line and their linebacker corps. That right, I said corpse! Hey! What about them Arizoney Cardinals? Well they got lucky last week and won on account of that thar Oakland kicker, Jack-o-lantern,,, uh, Jackson...uh, "we got married in Jackson, hotter than a Julius Peppers sprout"...hmm... uh, oh sorry folks ... yeah they won on account of that thar missed field goal. QB Derek Anderson, well, he ain't been too hot as a pepper sprout. In fact, he's got a QB rankin' what is like 4th worst in the league. So this game is gonna be a real snoozer, folks. If y'all ask me, I'd say San Diego QB Phil Rivers, will pull this one out... and zap him some Cardinals. That's right, so go with them Chargers.
Washington Redskins (1-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (2-1):
Alright, and now it's the continuin' adventures of them 2 and 1 Eagles and crazy legs QB Michael Vince (woof woof). This week they play them Redskins what are 1 and 2. Washington QB Donovan McNabb used to play fer them Eagles. Now he plays fer them Redskins. QB Kevin Kolb used to start fer them Eagles, but he got knocked to lala land and Vicks came on and sent everyone to WOW WOW land on account of his spectacular playin'. Last year, both them QBs, Vicks and McNabb played together ... and so did Kevin Kolb ... and uh, ... well it's beginnin' to sound like that thar Abbot and Costello routine, "who's on first and what's on fer supper". The bottom line is this here is a gonna be a good game. A real shootout! But at the end of chow line them Eagles will be flyin' high on account of they got them a better defense. So that's that.
Chicago Bears (3-0) at New York Giants (1-2):
Ok, next up is them is them 3 and 0 Bears vs. them 1 and 2 Giants. I reckon that most folks are surprised that them Bears are still undefeated and that them Giants have only won them one game! If I didn't know better, I'd tell y'all: "folks, don't squirt on my leg, and tell me it's a rainin'!" - just like I sang in my band's album, Jugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny. Chicago QB Jay Cutler has been busier that a cat tryin' to cover his what not on a marble floor, and doin' a fine job of that. Meanwhile, New York QB Eli Mannin' has been playin' "keepin' up with them neighbor Jones" with Brett Geritol Favre, for racin' to see who's got the most interceptions in the league. So I reckon, them turnovers is a gonna be the tell-tale sign for who's goin' home riding' the short bus. Them Chicago special teams have also played well and that thar Devin Hester had a 62-yard punt return for a touchdown! That thar was good! So I say go with them Bears what are gonna knock down them Giants a few more pegs.
New England Patriots (2-1) at Miami Dolphins (2-1):
Alright, It's Monday Night Football! And it's my 2 and 1 Dolphins what play host to them 2 and 1 Patriots. Oh lord, it's another division game fer my fins what lost to them Jets last week. Now Chad Henne, not Penny, played his heart out, God bless him, and most fans agree that the offense kicked it into high gear. But, they still lost to a division rival and got kicked in the pants anyway... and that ain't no fun. In the AFC East, them Dolphins, Patriots and Jets are all tied up. So this is a must win ... fer both teams! Now them Fin's defense has been smokin' except fer last week, when uh, maybe they was smokin' somethin' else. Now them Patriots have been holdin' their own, but it ain't been purty. Their defense ain't been so hot and has been given up them yards like grocery coupons. On offense, QB Tom Brady been holdin' his end up of the eatin' stick, as he usually does, but all in all, I'm gonna have to say: Go with Fins on account of I think their defense will bounce back and their offense will continue to improve. But, folks I got an uneasy feelin' about this game, and I hope I won't be needin' some comfort food to go along with a plate of crow. Go with them Fins!
Well, that's it's fer me folks. Them is my picks. Now, I tell y'all what, Halloweeney is a comin' and I got to get me some pumpkins to make some Janikowskis, uh I mean, Jack O' Lanterns for the Halloween Hootenanny. So I'm hopin' y'all will help me out, especially on account of I done give y'all these picks to win you some cash. So when y'all do, don't ferget me ... and don't ferget that our band has released our CD, Jugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny, like what I told you before! So get on over to I-Tunes, Amazon.com, CDbaby.com or even our website, that thar is www.jugmongers.com, that's jugmongers with a "J", and buy our album or a T-Shirt, or both and show your friends and kin that you support them Jugmongers' arts. And tell all your freinds and kin that Judd Jugmonger says to do the same! And don't ferget, if any of y'all out there want to advertise your services, companies or wares with my personal endorsement, well, send me an email. Y'all can find it on my website (or here on my blog). Ok, and now some words of wisdom: Mark Twain, the great American writer, said: "Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest." I says ... don't ferget to do right by me ... that's what I just above!
PS. Ok, here are some good readin' what I recommend fer all y'all what like to know what to think about this that and what not!