Sunday, September 26, 2010

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - 2010 - Week 3

 Howdy Folks & Kin!

It's football season, welcome to week 3 of the NFL regular season. I just updated my weekly podcast in what I give my picks fer the week. The podcast is on I-Tunes, and y'all can also download them episdoes in MP3 format right here over on the sidebar. Now, for all y'all what don't like my voice none or prefer a good read in the outhouse, I post the podcast transcripts right here below. Good luck and don't ferget to pull the chain!

Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' and I'm back gettin' y'all fixded up with my picks fer the 2010 NFL football season. That thar is the National Football League, where they got some tightends, defensive ends, offensive ends, but no book-ends - unless y'all are Braylon Edward (Book-em' Dano)! Heheh, I'm just joshin' with all y'all Jets fans (laugh) .. not really. Ok, last week I was 10 of 16 and I'm sure had some of y'all rollin' biscuit dough, so let's get on it and get'er done.....

Pittsburgh Steelers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers:
Alright, first up we got us them Steelers vs them Buccaneers. I tell y'all what, thar's been lots of yo-ho-hos in Tampa Bay these last two weeks. Meanwhile in Pittsburg, what's been waitin' fer the return of QB Roethlisberg.. uh .. burger. Them Steelers are runnin' out of QBs now that thar Dennis Dixon is out fer 6 weeks he done blown out his knee. Still, I think their defense is pullin' up the slack, and well, are a gonna send them Bucs back to Davy Jones lockers. Now, Tampa Bay QB Josh Freemen ... he's a "Freeborn man", he's knows every inch of that highway .... um ... well, I reckon he's been a holdin' his won. But them Steeler's defense is gonna get a hold of him this week. Go with them Steelers!

New York Giants at Tennessee Titans:
OK, next up is them Giants vs. them Titans. Eli Mannin' and his yankees got took to the water shed by big brother Peyton and company last week. He'll be lookin' for redemption this week but I think QB Vince Young, what's gonna start fer them Titans, will be wantin' to show them coaches and fans that he's the man. Also, I reckon his backfield buster, Chris Johnson will be doin' less cloggin' this week and a whole lot more runnin'. So I says go with them big boys! Keep your eyes on that thar Tennessee Two.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings:
Oh boy! Yonder come them Lions to face them 0 and 3 Vikings. Folks, they say on any given Sunday, any team can win even them underdogs like them Lions. Know what I mean? I think y'all do. Now, most folks will be talkin 'bout how them Minnesotey boys will be gettin' their first easy win and that Ole' Brett "pass the Geritol" Favre will finally kick into high gear at home.... uh, that's what they said last week, too when my Fins put the brakes on that idea mighty quick - and Adrian Peteson, too! And this week I do declare that so will Ndukemuh ... uh.. Nadir Donky Kong... uh Mr. Suh is gonna ride them hard and put 'em away wet. Heck, it's a long shot, but them kitties are gonna pull this one out.

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints:
Ok, next up is them Falcons vs. them Saints. Falcons QB Matt Ryan had him a good game last week, and them birdies even got them the runs after losin' their tailbacks awhile back. What about them holy boys? Well, I reckon that even though that thar Reggie Bush is out, Drew "call him the breeze" Brees is a just gonna blow them birdies out of the sky. So someone shout "PULL" and watch your heads as them Falcons come down in a mess of feathers. I'd say they'd be roadkill, folks, but them Saints haven't had much of a runnin' game of late.

Cincinnati Bengals at Carolina Panthers:
Aright, next up is them Bengals vs. them Panthers. It's the kitty cat bowl, folks. Headlines: Bengals blitz the bejesus out of them bumblin' Panthers whose runnin' game is still missin' in action. And that's all she wrote, folks. Go with them Bengals, and watch the kitty litter fly! That thar was easy...

Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots:
(Doo te doo doo doo) Ok, now we got us them Bills vs. them Patriots. Hey folks, them Bills are gonna start Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB! ... Uh, and that won't make a sam hill's difference in this game what's gonna turn ugly fer them Buffalo boys. I tell y'all what, I seen a water buffalo what had been hit in the middle of the road. I reckon this game will be worse! Someone outghsta call 911, even before kickoff!

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens:
Ok, this next game is an interestin' one on account we got some big names. Still, accordin' to my observatorials and prognostinationals ..... (drum roll) it's the stinker bowl! "When ye are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, go and git your clothes pins and stick them on your nose, cause it's the weekly stinker bowl! And, this week, comin' into the stadium a wavin' their banner's low are them Browns, of course, and them Ravens. What's that you say? Them Ravens don't belong in no stinker bowl on account of they got them receivers Anankin Skywalker .. uh Anquan Boldin and T.J. Whomacallits and uh, QB Joe Flacco the whacko. Still, they lost last week and play them Brown this week, so that's all they need to qualify. Browns QB Ole Jake Delhomme is still feelin' poorly on account of his sprained ankle, but whether he plays or not, them birdies' defense is startin' to pickup. So I reckon, them Browns will get flushed. Pull that chain... (toilet flush).

San Francisco 49ers at Kansas City Chiefs:
Alright, now we got us them 0 and 2 49ers what go to visit them 2 and 0 Chiefs. That's right folks, I know that sounds nether region backwards but that what it is. Who's the better team here, folks? QBs Alex Smith (SF) vs. Matt Casell (KC)? It seems to me Smith has had the razor's edge the last couple of weeks. Them Kansas City BBQ boys are next to last in the league on offense while them 49ers are 4th best in the league at defense. It don't take no rocket scientist to figure out who's gonna ride the short bus home from the stadium this week. Go with them 49ers ... they're the San Francisco treat!

Dallas Cowboys at Houston Texans:
Ok, we're back and next up is them Cowboys vs them Texans. "Well I'm a long tall Texan, I wear a ten-gallon hat" ... but only one of them teams will be handed their hats after the game is over. Dallas QB Tony Romo ate some dirt last week and his backfield has taken a backseat to no where. Meanwhile, them Houston boys have put up like almost 900 yards on offense and 64 points. I think y'all know where I'm headed on this one folks ... and them Cowboys is headed fer the last corral and the bye week at 0 and 3. Do you smell a new head coach on the horizon? "Yes I'm a long tall Texan, I enforce justice for them revenuers"... oh, sorry, Hoss.

Philadelphia Eagles at Jacksonville Jaguars:
Alright, now we got us them Eagles vs. them Jaguars. As Jerry Reed sang, "when you're hot, you're, when you're not, you're not". Now y'all know that QB Michael Vick (woof woof) has been hot. So hot he done won the startin' job away from Kevin Kolb one day after that thar coach Andy Reid said, it ain't gonna happen. Jaguars' QB David Garrard was the "when you're not, you're not" last week. So go with them birdies and their runnin' game (woof woof).

Washington Redskins at St. Louis Rams:
(Doo te doo doo doo) Ok, next up we gotta us them "poor" Rams what play host to them Redskins. Folks, this here is like the Stinker Bowl part 2. Them Redskins have been smokn' the peace pipe a bit too much on account of they is dead last in the runs so far, and them Rams, well they sure no how to step aside when someone come's a runnin'. Y'all also have to figure that Washington QB Donovan McNabb threw for like 426 yards and was 28 of 38. Rams youngin' QB Sam Bradford threw fer 2 TDs last week. He's makin' progress.... but it won't be enough to catch McNabb. Go with them Redskins!

Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos:
Ok, let's see, we got us them Colts vs. the Broncos. Heck, not much to say here folks. Ole Peyton mannin' should make mince meat fricassee out of them Bronco's secondary what are out to lunch, and them Denver folks are mournin' the loss of one of their players. Them horsies also don't go much of a runnin' game goin'... they sure is no bustin' broncos, so go with them Colts, folks. That was quick.

Oakland Raiders at Arizona Cardinals:
Alright, next up is them Raiders what go a callin' on them Arizoney Cardinals. Ok, them Oakland boys are startin' QB Bruce Gradkowski (remember him?) over Jason Cambell what, it turns out, loves to eat dirt. Now, Gradkowski won them the game last week, so I reckon they oughtsta stick with what works. Meanwhile, RB Darren McFadden has found his legs again and got him the runs. Them Cardinals ain't been so good against the runs... and eatin' more fiber ain't gonna do it. Know what I mean? I think y'all do. Lots of folks are pickin' them birdies to rebound from the beatin' they took last week. But I think them Raiders are startin' to turn things around and will have then birdies flyin' in circles.

San Diego Chargers at Seattle Seahawks:
Ok, here's an interestin' game folks (laughs) heck I'm just joshin' with you folks. It's them Chargers vs. them Seahawks what went sqawk last week. If them San Diego boys can get them the runs this week it would balance out their defense what got them 4 interceptions and 2 fumble recoveries last week. I reckon I don't need to spin me my little pigskin on this one. Go with them Charger what will zap them birdies. And here's a tip folks, watch out for that thar Golden Tate, and I don't mean Larry Tate nor them Golden Taters neither! And hey, and don't ferget they got them about that thar Tim Tebow, what's doin' the bench warmin', the best he can!

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins:
Alright, it's the game of the week, folks! I tell y'all what, this here's gonna be a good game - with lots of side stories, too! Story 1: Former Fin Ole Jason "Twinkle Toes" Taylor plays his old pals, what I suspect he still loves more than his new team what he always hated. Story 2: Jets WR Braylon Edwards is tryin' hard at becomin' the Lindsay Lohan of the NFL. He's been drivin' the porcelain bus these days, though I suspect he kept his drawers on. Story 3: Mark "pretty boy" Sanchez out played Tom Brady last week. Story 4: The fins defense intercepted Ole Brett Favre 3 times last week and stuffed RB Adrian Peterson when it counted. Now, you know I love me my Dolphins and ... well that's all there is to say about that. Them Jets are a goin' after them, but I reckon, their defense will hold up and Chad Henne, not Penny, will team up with Brandon Marshall and give RBs Run Ricky Run Williams and Ronnie Brown some down time. So go with them Fns!

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears:
Ok, it's Monday Night Football and this one might just be a classic. Both these teams are 2 and 0 and lookin' to make it 3. Now some folks are stickin' to their guns by sayin' them Green Bay boys are Super Bowl contenders, and I don't disagree with that neither. But I think Jay Cutler and them grizzlies are awful hungry to show the world they ain't know Winnie the Pooh! Them Packers need to deal with Julius Peppersteaks .. uh .. Peppers, but by the same wooden nickel, them Chicago boys need to stop Clay Mathews from huntin' fer QB bear. It's gonna be a good game! I spun me my little pigskin on this one, folks, and well, it pointed to them ... Bears. And I agree, but this one could go either way, but not neither way.

Well, that's it's fer me folks. Them is my picks. Now, I tell y'all what folks, Cousin Justin has got our bands CD, Jugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny, on permanent rotation here at the Katywonkered Cafe'. It's a hit in these parts, and I'm sure it will be a hit in your parts, too. So get on over to I-Tunes,, or even our website,, that's jugmongers with a "J", buy our album and show your friends and kin just how musically savvy you are. And tell all your freinds and kin that Judd Jugmonger says to do the same. Shucks, that's thar is the least y'all can do after I done gave you all these picks to help y'all out!

And don't ferget, if any of y'all out there want to advertise your services, companies or wares, and get rich, well, send me an email. Y'all can find it on my website (or here on my blog). Ok, until next week, happy tail gatin' and don't ferget, every day above ground is a good one!

PS. Fer all y'all what want some good outhouse readin', here's some books I recommend:

Living Sober Sucks (but living drunk sucks more)Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through NutritionThe Hangover Handbook, Revised Edition: 101 Cures for Humanity's Oldest MaladyNBC Sunday Night Football CookbookTalking Feet: Solo Southern Dance - Flatfoot, Buck and TapBadasses: The Legend of Snake, Foo, Dr. Death, and John Madden's Oakland RaidersThe Wild And Free Cookbook: With a Special Roadkill SectionJugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny

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