Saturday, September 18, 2010

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - 2010 - Week 2

Well Howdy Folks & Kin!

It's football season, so I started up my weekly podcast in what I give my picks fer the week. The podcast is on I-Tunes, and you can also download them episdoes in MP3 format right here over on the sidebar. Now, for all those what don't like my voice none, I usually put the transcript from the podcast here on my blog. Y'all can find that below, so quit your belly achin'.


Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' and I'm back a rarin' to go with my picks fer week 2 of the 2010 NFL football season. That thar is the National Football League, where randy means RESPECT and a tight end might get y'all a sexual harassment scandal, and don't y'all know it! So y'all mind your sweat peas and q-tips Alright, last week there was lots of ugly wins and even some blowouts, so this week I'm here again to help y'all out with my prognosticatin' powers that be. So let's get'er done. Here we go...

Sunday Pittsburgh Steelers at Tennessee Titans:
Ok, first up we got use them Steelers at them Titans. Both of these teams won last week, so the they'll be wantin' to keep that savory taste alive. Now that that rushin' titan Chris Johnson got him 100 yard game and is hungry for another one. Meanwhile, over thar in Pittsburgh they're still a waitin' fer their QB Ben Roethlinger .. uh I mean, Pittsberger ... no, uh Roethlisberger to git out of the leagues dog pound. So this week there's a gonna be a Tennessee Stomp compliments of them big fellers.

Sunday Philadelphia Eagles at Detroit Lions:
Ok, next up is them Eagles vs. them Lions. Alright, I tell y'all what, lots of folks are gonna be watchin' this here game on account of Michael Vicks crazy legs what ran fer 105 yards after takin' over from Kevin Kolb, after he got knocked way over yonder into LALA land. Vicks is a gonna play again this week, but that thar Eagles coach says "thar ain't no QB controversy"... that's right, and  hash browns are oil free, too... duh, no they ain't! What about them boys from Detroit? Well, what about them? Folks, I hate to say it, but I reckon if they played roadkill, they'd still lose! Look fer Michael Vicks to show the world he ain't no B fiddler .. that thar's B fer backup, not beagle. Know what I mean? I think y'all do! (woof woof!)

Sunday Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals:
Alright, now we got us them Ravens vs. them Bengals. Them birdies sure did a defensive number against them Jets last week but their offense can still use a bitof that thar ACME bird seed. They need to run with that pigskin not just peck at it. Now them tigers from Cincinnati are still lickin' their wounds from bein' run over by them Patriots last week, so they need to get them some cat-nip to get them jumpy and pouncy this week! So who's gonna win? Them Ravens sure know how to win ugly... but I think this week they're just gonna have the ugly part. Go with them Bengals! Here kity kity...

Sunday Arizona Cardinals at Atlanta Falcons:
Ok, now it's them Arizoney Cardinals vs. them Atlanty Falcons. It's a bird fight! Feathers will be flyin' in this ... well, birdie bowl. Last week, them Cardinals flopped around, but finally won against them "poor Rams". Them Falcons didn't do much better with them losin' in overtime. Still, I think they could do better and will this week, so I ain't gonna call this game the stinker bowl. I like to think we'll have a winner, but these birdies might just tie ... and I said tie not fly!! Hey! Where's PZ? Step it up son and help your team get a won ... um I mean win.

Sunday Miami Dolphins at Minnesota Vikings:
Alright, now we got us my Dolphins vs. Brett Favre and them Vikings. Well, my fins done me proud last week. It wasn't purty, but they got the job done and win is a win is win, and they sure did won themselves one. Meanwhile most folks think that thar mean old man over thar, Brett Favre will be konkin' some Dolphin noggins with some of his Geritol bottles. I tell y'all what, I just don't see it happenin' that way. I think them Miami boys' defense is a gonna make fish food of them Viking's offense, and Chad Henne, not Penny, are gonna git his backfield movin' and his receivers doin the end zone dance. I'm tellin' y'all go with them Fins, and you'll be eatin' quarter pounders tonight!

Sunday Kansas City Chiefs at Cleveland Browns:
Ok, now we got us them Chiefs vs. them Browns. I'll be honest folks, I'm not sure what to say about this here game. Them Chiefs won last week, but it wasn't purty. Them Browns played in the stinker bowl last week, and got flushed. It's QBs Delhomme vs Cassel... and I don't mean Howard Cosell. So fer prognosticatin' this game, I just spun me my little pigskin, and well, it pointed to them Chiefs, and I agree. I think them Kansas City BBQ boys are a wantin' to show the world that they is no sqaws. Meanwhile, I think Delhomme should be callin' Brett Favre to send him some Geritol stash. Go with them Chiefs!

Sunday Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers:
Nest up is them Bucaneers vs. them Panthers. Now, I tell y'all what, them cats needed to git them the runs last week, but instead they were, well, all knotted up, if you know what I mean. Sounds like a good time fer some of ole' Doc Pooters Nether Lax to jump start this here backfield. Meanwhile, them Tampa Bay boys, what played in last week's stinker bowl, finally got them some yo-ho-hos! This week though, I reckon it will be back to yo-ho-NO. That thar Doc Pooter's Nether Lax is mighty powerful and it will uncork them Panthers just fine. This week, it's "nothin' could finer than to be in Carolina" ... doo te doo te doo doo ... sponsored by Ole Doc Pooter's Nether Lax, friend to your mornin' constitution.

Sunday Buffalo Bills at Green Bay Packers:
Alright, next it's them Bills vs. them Packers. Attention all passengers the short bus back to Buffalo leaves at the end of regulation play. Not much to say here 'cept pack 'em up boys, don't mind them Bill's offensive line none, cause they ain't got one. Easy win fer them Packers. Doo doo te doo too too

Sunday Chicago Bears at Dallas Cowboys:
Ok, next up we got us them Bears vs. them Cowboys. Followin' last weeks games, lots of folks were left scratchin' their heads over some controversial refereein' calls. Only difference is that Chicago walked away with a victory over them Lions, while them Cowboys walked away, well just scratchin' their butts. They thought they had thar thar game won over them Redskins with a late TD, but them officials, just like them revenuers and your money, took it away on account of a holdin' call. Y'all can bet that Tony Romo is a gonna get goin' early on Sunday, so that don't happen again. I like them Bears, but I think them Dallas boys got themselves somethin' to prove. So go with them Cowboys.

Sunday Seattle Seahawks at Denver Broncos:
Alright, yonder come them Seahawks and them Broncos. Folks, y'all might as well call this the mediocre bowl. Sort of a 6 of one or half a dozen of the other. Last week them Seattle boys won, but it surely wasn't on account of their runnin' game. Them Broncos lost last week on account of they didn't have no passin' game neither. Heck, y'all can argue with this fencepost all you want but I'm gonna say go with them birdies. QB Matt Hasselbeck will figure out how to win, even without a runnin' game. Them Broncos are more like wooden rockin' horses - they ain't goin' nowhere fast. Sorry Hoss.

Sunday St. Louis Rams at Oakland Raiders:
Ok, guess what folks? Based on my observatorials and progrosticational talents, (drum roll) it's the stinker bowl! "When ye are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, go and git your clothes pins and stick them on your nose, cause it's the weekly stinker bowl! And, this week, comin' into the stadium a wavin' their banner's low is them, of course, poor Rams and also them Raiders. Well, I tell you folks that there youngin' Sam Bradford started his first game fer them Rams. He went 32 of 55 fer 253 yards and a score. Of course he also gave the ball away 3 times. Live and learn, folks. Meanwhile, that thar Raiders QB Jason Campbell soup, uh, I mean Campbell.... just like Glen Campbell and that thar Wichita lineman what's still on the line ... and uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Campbell ate lots of dirt last week, on account of them Oakland boys don't got them no offensive line. On the other paw, both teams were able to run the ball some. So who's it gonna be? Well surprise, surprise, I'm gonna say to go with them poor Rams on account of that thar Sam Bradford is a gonna turn a few heads this week.

Sunday Jacksonville Jaguars at San Diego Chargers:
Alright, next up is them Jaguars vs. them Chargers. I reckon them Chargers are a gonna try to do what they couldn't do last week, and that's win. Now, them Jaguars ain't so bad. They got them a good defense and even run the ball some, and don't ferget they done won last week. Still, I reckon they is no match fer them Chargers and QB Phil Rivers. Hey! What about that thar Tim Tebow? Well, Jacksonville starter David Garrard got him what like 3 touchdowns and 170 yards. Tim Tebow, well, he done run for 2 yards and had 0 yards passin'. Hmmm.... that's all she wrote about that.

Sunday Houston Texans at Washington Redskins:
Ok, now we got us them Texans and them Redskins. This here is a gonna be a good game! Them Texans are lookin' to do the Texas two-step all over them injuns. That thar Houston RB, Arian Foster, run fer 231 yards last week. And, them defense beat up on Peyton Manning some, as well. The Washington boys won, too ... but well on account of that thar holdin' call against them Cowboys. It ain't a matchup against QBs Matt Shaub and Donovan McNabb, neither. It's just smashmouth football at it's best, and that's what them Texans are doin'. Go with Houston! Houston, thar ain't no problem here.

Sunday New England Patriots at New York Jets:
Hey, yonder comes the circus! It's cat calls and calls fer respect. After the game, Randy Moss said "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, why y'all media folks is a dissin' me?". That's right! Meanwhile Tom Brady and Wes Welker were like two goats in a pepper patch. They was on fire as they buried them Bengals last week. If it's one thing we learned from them Hard Knocks New Yorkers last week, it's that a cat call don't mean "Here kitty kitty". That's right. I reckon y'all heard about that thar Mexican TV reporter and "bonita señorita", Inés Sainz, what don't look like no saint to me, claimed she was the victim of mucho sexual harrasment by them Jets. She was a waitin' to interview pretty boy Mark Sanchez (smile purty!), in his what not in the locker room. Well the team owner apologized and that's that, I reckon, and at the end of the day, them Jets still lost... and I got a hankerin' fer a burito! Folks, Tom Brady will not be denied, so go with them Patriots.

Sunday New York Giants at Indianapolis Colts:
Alright, next up comes the Peyton Bowl! It's Eli Mannin' and his Giants vs. Big Brother Peyton and his Colts. Them Indianapolis boys got squashed last week by Texan RB Arian Foster. Peyton threw fer 433 yards and 3 touchdowns... and his team still lost. Meanwhile, them New Yorker's defense played well against the run, even though young Eli had his ups and downs. I'm gonna go with big brother Peyton on this one on account of I expect a different defensive effort from them Colts. I might be wrong, and this here is one them good games y'all might just have to flip your wooden nickels on.

Monday New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers:
Ok, it's Monday night football featurin' them Saints and them 49ers. Folk's thar's not much to say hear. It's the NFL's best, vs. one of them worsts. That's right. It's Superbowl MVP Drew "call him the breeze" Brees, vs. Alex Smith .... um... and well that's about it. Them 49ers got them the short end of the schedule stick. Them Saints will ride them hard and put 'em away wet. Know what I mean? I think y'all do. They'll needs lots of duct tape to put them 49ers back together again after this here game.

Well, that's it's fer me folks. Them is my picks. Now, I tell you what, if y'all like real cornbread, corndogs and corn on the cob, y'all better get out and download my band's record. That's right! It's Jugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny and y'all can do right by me by gettin' from I-Tunes, Amazon, or even our website,, that's jugmongers with a "J". Need I remind y'all that thar is the least y'all can do after I done gave you all these picks to git y'all rollin in some dough! And tell all your freinds and kin that Judd Jugmonger says to do the same. By the way if any of y'all out there want to advertise your services, companies or wares, well, send me an email. Y'all can find it on my webite ( or here on my blog).

Ok, until next week, happy tail gatin' and don't ferget, life ain't worth lvin', if y'all ain't livin'. I said that!

PS. Fer all y'all what want some good outhouse readin', here's some books I recommend:

Cohn-Head: A No-Holds-Barred Account of Breaking Into the Boys' ClubCosellA Man, A Can, A Tailgate Plan: 50 Easy Game Time Recipes That Are Sure to PleaseThe Un-Constipated Gourmet: Secrets to a Moveable Feast – 125 Recipes for the Regularity ChallengedFootball For Dummies, (USA Edition)

NFL Record & Fact Book 2010 (Official National Football League Record and Fact Book)The Football Game I'll Never Forget: 100 NFL Stars' StoriesThe Jumbo Duct Tape BookStick It!: 99 DIY Duct Tape Projects

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