Sunday, January 3, 2010

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 17

Well howdy folks and kin! And, Happy Holidays, Happy Holiday this here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe'. Well, Happy New Year and Decade. I got me muh picks fer week 17 of the NFL. That thar is the National Football League, the playoffs are around the corner and so is rehab for most football fans whose teams ain't in the Super Bowl hunt. I know they'll be lots a cryin' once this weeks games is played .... so now might be a good time to invest in Kleenex. Well let's get on it.

Indianapolis Colts (14-1) at Buffalo Bills (5-10)
All right first up we got us them formerly undefeated Colts vs. them Bills. Seems like lots a folks are pretty pissed off at them Indianapolis boys fer letting them Jets win a game just so they can rest their stars fer the playoffs. On one hand it makes good sense if the prize what ya gots your eyes on is the Superbowl. The big question is, will them stars be a no show again this week? I believe the answer is yes... but I also believe them Buffalo boys will look a gift horse in the mouth anyway.

San Francisco 49ers (7-8) at St. Louis Rams (1-14)
All right, well let's be honest folks, most teams will be playin' for pride this week ... but some teams, well they just go no pride. So that brings us to them 1 and 14 Rams and well, they play them 49ers, what have actually been on a hot winning streak. Don't need no rocket scientist to know that them San Francisco boys will do their thing ... and so will them "poor Rams". And, you know what? Everyone will win .... them 49ers finish the year on an up note and them St. Louis boys will win a better chance at gittin' themselves a high draft pick. In the end, fer some , that's all that matters anyway.

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7) at Miami Dolphins (7-8)
Ok, next up us muh Dolphins vs. them Steelers. Wildcard hope and prayers fer all. Them Pittsburgh boys gots them a better chance than them Miami boys what's got lots a players feelin' poorly. Can them Fins win this game and with help from 4 other teams back themselves into the playoffs? Or will they back themselves into the off season corner? I'll take the former, though I suspect it might be the latter. This one is a toss-up. This game will come down to how badly them Miami boys want to save face. If yer bettin' be safe and go with them Steelers ... if yer looking fer a big payoff, go with them fins. It's as simple as that.

New England Patriots (10-5) at Houston Texans (8-7)
All right now we got us them Patriots vs. them Texas. Heck, ole' Belicheck is a gonna do what them Colts did last week: rest their stars. They is in them playoffs and it don't make much of a hoo-ha whether they win or lose. Them Houston boys want in them playoff ... so they'll have to beat them New England's 2nd best. Will it happen? Most folks think so .... I think not. Go with them Pats. Sorry Hoss.

Cincinnati Bengals (10-5) at New York Jets (8-7)
Ok, now we go us them Bengal vs. them Jets. Them Cincinnati boys are in the playoffs and them them Jets need them some help to make it as wildcards. So that thar pretty boy, Mark Sanchez, ought to have somethin' to prove. Will them Cincinatti boys give him the key to the short bus to ride home from the stadium? I reckon so. Them Jets will surely fight hard, though.

Chicago Bears (6-9) at Detroit Lions (2-13)
All right, that brings to us the closest thing we got to the Stinker Bowl this well. That's right folks, when you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, git ye' your clothes pins and stick them on your nose! Cause it's the Stinker Bowl! And this week, wavin' their banners low is them 2 and 13 Lions, vs. them 6 and 9 Bears. Them Chicago boys have been teddy bears all seasons. But, this week them Detroit boys will make them look like Grizzlies.

Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8) at Cleveland Browns (4-11)
Ok, it's ain't no Stinker Bowl... but it smells just as bad. Its them Jaguars vs. them Browns. Ok, so them Cleveland boys have been on a roll them past 3 weeks. I reckon they won't make it 4 in row though. Them Jacksonville boys, with even a further outside chance than them Fins to make the playoffs will give it their all and turn them Browns, black and blue.

New York Giants (8-7) at Minnesota Vikings (11-4)
All right now we got us them 8 and 7 Giants vs. them 11 and 4 Vikings. Burt Favre ain't gonan let no Eli Manning show him up this week. So go with them Minnesota boys. Them Giants will try hard ... but I think ole Favre will ride them harder and put them up wet.

Atlanta Falcons (8-7) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-12)
Ok now it's another "don't man a thang" game. It's them Falcons vs. them Buccaneers. Heck, thar's no surprise here. Them Atlanta boys will fly high over Tampa Bay. No yo-ho-ho here ... only despair as them Buccaneers disappear... them Falcons, too. See ya the draft boys!

Philadelphia Eagles (11-4) at Dallas Cowboys (10-5)
All right, now we got us a real game. It's them 11 and 4 Eagles vs. them 10 and 5 Cowboys. Them birdies are tops a their division and the, Cowboys are wildcards. It's a big big game fer both teams what want show the world what they is a made of. Fer this game, I spun me my little pigskin and it pointed to them Dallas Boys. See, most likely, them Eagles know they might play them again in the playoffs ... so why show them their hand this week? Them birdies take it a bit easy and give them Cowboys some false securities. See folks, it all comes down to psychologies.

New Orleans Saints (13-2) at Carolina Panthers (7-8)
Ok, so here's an easy one. It's them Saints vs. them Panthers. Them Carolina boys are playin' hard lately, but see, despite them New Orleans boys' breakdowns I still think they is are a gonna won't to show everyone why it is that they is in the playoffs and them Panthers aint'. Go with them holy boys.

Kansas City Chiefs (3-12) at Denver Broncos (8-7)
Baltimore Ravens (8-7) at Oakland Raiders (5-10)
All right, here's a few easy ones. It's them Wildcard wanna-be Broncos vs. them lowly Chiefs and them playoff wanna-be Ravens vs. them Raiders Go with them Denver and Baltimore boys what will be playin' fer their very lives.

Green Bay Packers (10-5) at Arizona Cardinals (10-5)
Ok, yonder come them Packers vs. them Cardinals. Both teams are 10 and 5 and both of them in the playoffs. Them boys from Arizona ain't got nothin' to prove as division leaders and them boys from Green Boys have somethin' to prove as wildcards. I'll take them Cardinals who'll want to send a message to them rest a the league. I think them Packers are a gonna git tar and feathered.

Tennessee Titans (7-8) at Seattle Seahawks (5-10)
Ok, from the "who cares" file, it's them 7 and 8 Titans vs. them 5 and 10 Seahawks. Folks, just go with the better record. The big boys will squash them birdies.

Washington Redskins (4-11) at San Diego Chargers (12-3)
Alright, now we got some Monday Night Football! Its them playoff bound Chargers vs. them homeward Redskins. This one reads like gangbusters. Crack, zap and whack ... and off them Washington boys go to the off-season. no surprises here.

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, them holidays have come and go ... but I'm still in the need of some dough. So, start off the year right by not fergettin' me ... and yes, I'm talking to all you folks what will be buyin' startin' the year in teh green what with all that money from my picks what I just gave you . Heck, if y'all all can give ole' Rick Warren 2.4 million dollars in 48 hours .... well, you know the tune, so git on over to - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and dig deep into your pockets.

Ok, so this here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a wisdom: if you want to sit high in the cotton, ya gots to rise above them thorns.

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