Thursday, November 5, 2009

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 9

Howdy Folks! Them Yankees may have won the World Series again ... but the "South shall rise again!". Meanwhile, I just posted my picks fer week 9 of the NFL. Fer those a y'all what don't like my voice, well here is the script:

Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 9 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League, where 4 quarters add up to whole heapin' lot more than just 1 buck. Now last week, I picked 9 of them games. Yes sir - that thar was good, I reckon! So let's get on it, cause them tail gater's are a gittin' jumpy.

Green Bay Packers (4-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-7)
All right first up we got us them Packers vs. them Buccaneers. Now I reckon that most folks a feel that them Packers are a gonna beat up on them Tampa Bay boys fer the beatin' they took last week from Burt Favre and his purple people eaters. Heck, why not? Them Buccaneers at 0 and 7 look like easy targets. But I tell you what, I think there's a gonna be some a yo-ho-hoin' on Sunday as them Buccanners git their first win. Them Packers are gonna have to pack it on down the road. Sorry boys.

Kansas City Chiefs (1-6) at Jacksonville Jaguars (3-4)
Ok, next up is them Chiefs vs. them Jaguars. Now them Kansas City boys had a bye week to figure out which end is up where as them JAX kitties got buried in kitty litter last week. Now, generally speakin' - haha I said thar "General Lee" - uh, generally I like them Florida teams so I'm a gonna go with them Jaguars. The Chiifs are a gonna git rode hard and put up wet.

Baltimore Ravens (4-3) at Cincinnati Bengals (5-2)
Now, we got us them Ravens vs. them Bengals. This here's a gonna be a good game! It's Joe Flacco vs. Carson Palmer ... or Calson Parmer ... I forget. Anyways, a course there's whole mess a other players, too. But I reckon this game will be won in the air. Them birds need this win to save their season ... but I think them Cincinnati boys are a gonna' bring on the sacks to bag them some bird. Go with them Bengals!

Washington Redskins 2-5 at Atlanta Falcons (4-3)
Ok, yonder come them Redskins at 2 and 5 and them Falcons at 4 and 3. I think them Atlanta boys are a gonna bounce back from last week. Matt Ryan's a gonna show them Redskins how to scalp themselves. Go with Falcons cause a Washington's gonna fall out of that thar Falcon's nest and hit every branch on the way down.

Carolina Panthers (3-4) at New Orleans Saints (7-0)
Ok, now we got us them Panthers and them Saints. Oh, when them Saints come marchin'in' y'all better hide your Panther kin. Cause them Saints are in "Seventh Heaven" and I reckon they're a gonna git 8.

San Diego Chargers (4-3) at NY Giants (5-3)
All right, now is them Chargers vs. them Giants. Now, I tell you what, them Giants are a playin' finer than frog's hair ... so that's not sayin' much. Can Eli Manning git them a win o'er them Chargers? Well, at the end of day I think ole Phil Rivers will be eatin' them Giant's frog legs.

Miami Dolphins (3-4) at New England Patriots (5-2)
All right folks, game of the week fer me! This one here's divisional. My Dolphin swim on over to visit them New England Patriots. Now last week, my Fins found a way to win even with Teddie Gin! Imagine that! One minutes your in the dog house and the next your at the top of the four corners of the world. How about them Patriots? Tom Brady ... he ain't no Cindy from that thar Brady Bunch. He'll be a lookin' fer the Tuna this Sunday and won't mind canning them Dolphins as well. So who's a gonna win the Pabst Blue Ribbon? I says go with them Miami boys cause I think Tom Brady won't be able to stand up to Miami's pass rush.

Houston Texans (5-3) at Indianapolis Colts (7-0)
Next up is them Texans vs. them Colts. Hmm. Glory be, I tell you what ... this one's gonna be ugly. Now you know ole' Peyton's he's a gonna do his best, and so will Matt Schaub. But only one of them is a gonna take the Cherry pie ... and leave the pits fer with the other. Seein' as some of them Colts running backs are havin' a hard time a holdin' on to the pigskin ... well, I'm just a gonna go with them Colts. The Texans are a gonna shoot themselves in the footsies. Sorry, Hoss!

Arizona Cardinals (4-3) at Chicago Bears (4-3)
Ok, now we got us them Cardinals and them Bears. They're a both 4 and 3. One's got a Warner what's a 19th in passing, and the other's gotta Cutler what's a 20th in passing. So, I just spun me my little pigskin and, well it pointed to them Bears. I'm not surprised, cause them Cardinals are like last in rushing, but this week they're a gonna be first to rush off to the outhouse.

Detroit Lions (1-6) vs. them Seattle (2-5)
All right folks and kin, now we got us the Stinker Bowl, that's right. When you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go ... git you your clothes pins and put them on your nose. This week it's them 1 and 5 Lions vs. them 2 and 5 Seahawks. Now them Lions are so dull they couldn't cut nary a stick a hot butter - but they managed to win one last week. Hope they savor that thar win cause another is a gonna be a long time comin'. Go with them Seahawks.

Tennessee Titans (1-6) at San Francisco (3-4)
Ok. now it's the 1 and 6 Titans vs. then 3 and 4 49ers. Them boys from San Francisco lost last week and want to git back to "even Steven" so that means them Tennessee boys take the short bus home from the stadium. Let's be honest folks, if that thar Stinker Bowl took three teams, the Titams would be one of them.

Dallas Cowboys (5-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-2)
All right not we got us them Cowboys vs. them Eagles. Both a these here teams are 5 and 2 - but only one of them is gonna make it 6 and it ain't gonna be the Eagles. I'm gonna be intellectual about this. If y'all look at the stats betwixt these two teams, it's like the only one them Philadelphia boys are ahead on is puntin'. So go with the Cowboys and yippee caye' your on your way.

Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2) vs. Denver Broncos (6-1)
All right, it's Monday Night Football and them Steelers go up to Denver to face them Broncos. This here is a gonna be a good game. Now them Broncos have been stampedin' ... until last week that when they came up against an even wilder herd a Colts. And, them Pittsburgh boys, well they're a all warmed up and in high gear. But I reckon, it' just won't be enough. Better luck next week.

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, as I said, the holiday's is a just around the bend. Time fer me to start puttin some down payments on some little what nots fer my Sweety Deety Jolene. So I hope that fer all a you what will be fannin' yourselves with all that money from my picks what I just gave you well, don't ferget me ... and Jolene neither! So git on over to - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with some of that pumpkin pie!

This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words a wisdoms ... especially fer that thar Jet's coach what's mouth overloaded his butt last Sunday: All right here it goes: If y'all think the sun come up just to hear you crow ... don't be surprised when your ears begin to grow ... (hee haw, hee haw)

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