Sunday, November 29, 2009

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 12

Howdy Folks! I'm back and have just put up my podcast picks fer week 12 of the NFL! Ok, so here is the transcript ... and pay close attention to the end where I mentioned a Fender Telecaster! As Chuck Berry says, "all I want fer christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar" ... though I reckon I'll just do some country pickin' on it!

Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' and I'm back a rarin' to go with my licks fer Week 12 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League, where the Lion's play every thanksgiving fer 4 quarters ... and still one has ever won a buck on'em. This year, they lost again! Ah, holiday traditions ... ain't they a hoot? Now I hope y'all got some good eatin' in on Thanksgivin'. I know I did! I'm still as stuffed with as much cornbread stuffing as that thar turkey was.

Now a some a y'all might be a wonderin' where I was fer the last two weeks. Well, see y'all might not know it but uh I'm in a Bluegrass Band called ... well "the Jugmongers". And well, we had us some heavy tourin' to do on the road playin' at some great hootenannies and honky tonks. So I thought I'd take me a "bye" week just like them players do. But I ended up takin' a "bye bye" week cause we run out a gas somewhere North a Jupiter and South a Juno. Y'all know what I mean? I think you do! If y'all wanna hear some a our bluegrass music recorded live, git on over to - that thar's Jugmongers with a "J". And uh, you can hear me pickin' the guitar and playin' the harp and singin' with my sweety deety, Jolene. Alright, so I'm back and as they say across that thar pond "right as the wind", so here we go.

Now, just a quick night cap ... uh I mean recap of them game what were played on Turkey day. Uh, Let's see them Green Bay Packers sent them Detroit Lions a packin' - no surprise thar. And, them Dallas Cowboys shot up them Oakland Raiders - that was a no brainer! And them Denver Broncos beat up on them New York Giants. Well, that thar was a cryin' shame fer that youngin' quarteyback. Ok, so it's on to Sunday's games, and here we go...

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-9) at Atlanta Falcons (5-5)
All right, first up we got us them Buccaneers vs. them Falcons. It seems we do this dance every week in and out, folks. So grab your partner and dosey doe ... in Tampa Bay there's no Yo-Ho-Ho. Falcolns at the stadium scratching out dough ... Buccaneers goin' home with o-o-o's. Buck take thar zero!

Indianapolis Colts (10-0) at Houston Texans (5-5)
Ok, next up is them Colts vs. them Texans. Now the Texans are 5 up and 5 down. The Colts, of course, are undefeated. Now I reckon that some folks think that this here is the week that Peyton Manning and Company will lose their first game. Now I know the holiday's are a comin', so I reckon that y'all must got all worked on fruiticake or somethin' ... cause that thar notion is nuttier than a pecan log ... or a fruitcake ... or somethin'. Now them Houston boys have lost 2 in row and I says "misery loves company" ... so they is a gonna make it 3. Sorry Hoss!

Miami Dolphins (5-5) at Buffalo Bills (3-7)
Alright, this here is my game of the week. It's my Fin svs. them Bills. The Fins got them 2 wins in a row and that last game, what with Ricky Williams steppin' up fer "lost fer the season" Ronnie Brown, wasn't an easy game to win. But them boys did me proud ... and Ricky, well he's a hero and wins the Pabst Blue Ribbon. Now, them Miami boys need a win need a win to keep them in the hunt fer the wild cards... so this week they is a gonna go a huntin' fer Buffalo. It's a division game and them Bills got nothing to lose. So that's what they'll take home this week, a whole lot a nothin'!

Washington Redskins (3-7) at Philadelphia Eagles (6-4)
Ok, next up is them Redskins, what go to Philadelphia a lookin' fer them Eagles. I tell you what it might be a whole lot easier to get on over to the Walmart and git them some day after Thanksgiving frozen turkey, or maybe a can a spam or somethin', cause them Eagles ain't gonna do nothin' but fly off with a victory this week. Redskins?Well, I guess they can go home with that can a spam.

Chicago Bears (4-6) at Minnesota Vikings (9-1)
All right, now we got us them Vikings vs. them Bears. Now, see this here is the point in the season where it's gits a bit easier to prognosticate what's a gonna go down. I reckon ole' Burt Favre is a gonna declaw them bears again. Not much else thar.... it is what is.

Carolina Panthers (4-6) at New York Jets (4-6)
Ok, this here's an interestin' game. It's them Panthers vs. them Jets. Let's see, them kitties are feelin' poorly and them Jets ... well they're runnin' out a gas. Mark Sanchez laid a bunch a rotten eggs last week in New England and most folks are wonderin' whether's there's any meat left on that bone. Now, them Panthers' are lookin' fer a wildcard ... and I think they got the edge here. So go with them kitties! The Jets will ride the short bus home from the stadium a compliments a Mark Sanchez who will be drivin'.

Arizona Cardinals (7-3) at Tennessee Titans (4-6)
Now, it's them Cardinals vs. them Titans. Them boys from Tennessee have won four in a row and they is on a roll! Kurt Warner! Well, he ate him some dirt last week and might be, as the King says "I'm all shook up, a hey hey, hey baby! Now my head is hittin' the ground" - Oh, and I suspect that most folks think he'll be rattled up this week. So, I'm gonna go with them Titans, too, but also cause I think things are a lookin' up fer them Titans ... uh pardon the pun, ya son of a gun.

Cleveland Browns (1-9) at Cincinnati Bengals (7-3)
All right, next up is them Browns vs. them Bengals. Uh huh, not much to say here, folks. Go with them Bengals - and y'all want to now why? Well, it's because it don't take a roto-rooter to know what's in that thar Cleveland outhouse!

Seattle Seahawks (3-7) at St. Louis Rams (1-9)
Ok , next up, well here we go! From the Cleveland outhouse straight to the Stinker Bowl, that's right! When you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, git ye' your clothes pins and stick them on your nose!Cause it's the Stinker Bowl! And this week, wavin' their banners low is them 3 and 7 Seahawks vs. them, you guessed it, them 1 and Rams. Hey, y'all think the Rams a got a snow ball in hell's chance a winnin' this here game? Some folks do. But me and myself says - a no! And, we is unanimous! Poor Rams! And guess what? Them boys from Seattle are a finally gonna win one onthe road! It won't be pretty and it's gonna be messy, but hell it's the Stinker Bowl! And that's what outhouses are a made for.

Jacksonville Jaguars (6-4) at San Francisco 49ers (4-6)
All right, now we got us them Jaguars vs. them 49ers. I tell you what, one team is 4 and 6 and them others is 6 and 4. Sounds like a 6 a one and half a dozen of the other, so I just spun me my little pigskin and it pointed to them kitties. And, I agree cause them Jaguars are just better in passin', rushin' and totals yards. The 49ers, well heck, Greenbay deep-sixed them last week and I reckon they're a just gonna stay down thar in the dumps fer another week.

Kansas City Chiefs (3-7) at San Diego Chargers (7-3)
Ok, now it's them 3 and 7 Chiefs (cha cha) vs. them 7 and 3 Chargers (cha cha cha). Uh huh ... this one makes makin' mashed potater's look easy! Go with them Chargers. (cha cha cha!).

Pittsburgh Steelers (6-4) at Baltimore Ravens (5-5)
Ok, yonder come them Steelers and them Ravens. Ok, now Roethslinger is another Quartey back what ate dirt last week and went to la-la-land fer a bit - so I bet Baltimore's Joe Flacco what goes whacko, reckons he'll be able strut Raven feathers a bit. Still, I think, his feathers will just git ruffled, whether Roethslinger plays or not. Go with them Steelers!

New England Patriots (7-3) at New Orleans Saints (10-0)
Alright! It's Monday Night Football and, game a the week fer y'all. This here's a gonna be a good one. It's them undefeated Saints what play host to them 7 and 3 Patriots. If and them Saint's are a hopin' to fell them Patriots like a hollow log, they're barkin' up the wrong tree. Tom Brady's gonna git mean. Still, I think them Saints are packin' a heavin' helpin of Holy Moly ... and they will come out ahead. Looks like Reggie Bush is a gonna play some, I reckon. And, Drew Brees? Eell you just call him the breeze and he'll keep them Saints ablowin' down the road to the Super Bowl.

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, as y'all know the holiday's, well they is upon us! And since, as the song goes, 'tis the season to be jolly by golly ms. molly - all y'all what will be countin' your bucks what with all that money from my picks what I just gave you, can send me a tip so I can git me a new guitar ... a Telecaster fer some country pickin'. ... got me one on layway ... it's a Fender .... and I won't bend her, if y'all do right be my. So git on over to - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with that thar Telecaster.

This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a holiday words wisdom: When they say that pants are half off in the K-Mart or Walmart or any old mart .... make sure they ain't yours!

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