Friday, October 23, 2009

Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 7

Howdy! This here is Judd Jugmonger. It's week 7 of th NFL and I just did me some prognisticatin' in my podcast. So fer those who those a y'all what like to do your readin' even when y'all ain't in the outhouse ... well, I'm postin them here on my blog fer your viewin' and printin' pleasure. Here's how the podcast transcript goes:

Well howdy folks! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 7 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League, where a tight-end and a defensive end are two very different things. Now last week, I had to eat me some crow a bit fer some a muh picks. I picked 6 straight on but came up as short as "Uncle Nort" form that good "Ole Mountain Dew" song ... on some other 8 games. I reckon this week is a gonna be good. So let's get on it!

Atlanta Falcons (4-1) at Dallas Cowboys (3-2)
All right, first up we got us them Falcons and them Cowboys. Them Dallas boys are "home, home on the range" ... though more than likely they're a gonna be more like lost on the range. Cause I reckon that thar Matt Ryan a gonna find him some holes in that thar Dallas defense.

Chicago Bears (3-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)
Ok, now we got us them Bears vs. them Bengals. Hmmm seems like this one's gonna have lots a clawin' goin' on. Will them Bengals lose their stripes again this week like they did with them Texans? Now I tell you what, I think that thar Jay Cutler's in the pressure cooker to perform what with all that new money he's a gonna be gittin rom that new contract. So, I think he's a gonna git the tiger by the tail this week ... the Bengal tiger that is.

Indianapolis Colts (5-0) at St. Louis Rams (0-6)
Next up is them Colts vs. them Rams .... Poor rams. What else do y'all want me to say? it's a 5-0 team vs. a O-6 team. It don't take a rocket scientist to know where to pin the tail on the donkey fer this game.

Minnesota Vikings (6-0) at Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)
All right, now we got us Minnesota vs. Pittsburgh. Burt Favre proved me wrong last week - I admit it. And he is a aimin' fer 7 and 0 ... but I still think them Vikings are due fer the short end of the eatin' stick ... and I think them Steeler's gunslingere ole' Roethlisberger is a gonna be a busier than a one-armed paper-hanger .... it's gonna be a tough one .. but I say go with them Steelers.

New England Patriots (4-2) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-6)
Next up is them Patriots and them Buccaneers. Now they're a off to London this week to share a bowl of some "Cheerios" with the Queen and to show them good folks from across the pond what some smash mouth football is all about. Only problem is that Tampa Bay is still one can short of a six-pack ... and ole' Tom Brady's is a gonna make sure it's stay's that way. So it's... "Pip Pip" fer New England... and Zip Zip fer them Buccaneers.

Buffalo Bills (2-4) at Carolina Panthers (2-3)
Ok, it's them Bills vs. them Panthers. Now Buffalo surprised me last week by beatin' the Jets. But them Carolina boys ... well they performed as expected. To tell y'all truth, I think the thrills in this game are a gonna be as scarce as hen's teeth. So I just gave my little pigskin a spin ... and ... well ... as expected it pointed to them Panthers. ... so that's what I'm expectin' ... and I don't aim to drink no "expectorant" if the Bills shoot down my expectations. Know what I mean? I think you do.

San Francisco 49ers (3-2) at Houston Texans (3-3)
All right, yonder comes them 49ers vs them Texans. Now them 49ers are comin' off a a bye week this week uh .. what they had last week... uh .. maybe they best be takin' another week off cause I think them Houston boys are a gonna 86 them 49ers like they did with them kitty cats last week from Cincinatti.

Green Bay Packers (3-2) at Cleveland Browns (1-5)
Let's see now we got us them 3 and 2 Packers vs. them 1 and 5 Browns. Hmm.. Now last week. them Cleveland Boys look plumb tuckered out ... and them Packers .. well they sort looked like they were hotter than a ... well at least a $1 pistol, I reckon ... so I just as well will stick with them over Mangini's boys.

San Diego Chargers (2-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)
Next up. another 1 and 5 team. It's them Chiefs and them 2 and 4 Chargers. Now, if and theres's one thing I love it's BBQ sauce from Kansas City. So when them San Diego boy's go to town on them Cheifs ... well, I hope they will be kindly enough to save fer me some of that thar BBQ sauce after they git finished BBQing Kansas City.

New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland Raiders (2-4)
Ok, we got us next them Jets vs, them Raiders. Mark Sanchez ... well, I guess he's been feelin' lower than a ... well let me just put to y'all this way: he's like poor boy who a has ta borrow him some money to buy some water to cry with. Now them Oakland boys, well, they were good as grits this week ... but I think it's gonna be them who a gonna be doin' the cryin'.

Arizona Cardinals (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)
Next up is them Cardinals and them Giants. I tell you what, this here is a gonna be a good game! Both of them quarterbacks are a gonna put the ball up in the air. ... and who's a endzone is it a gonna land in the most? I say them Giants. Peyton Manning is a hungry. Look out! The menu says bird is the catch of the day.

New Orleans Saints (5-0) at Miami Dolphins (2-3)
All right, I tell you what, this next game here is my game of the week. It's muh Dolphins vs. them Saints. The Saints are still undefeated ... and well that don't bode too well when teams like that come to Miami. The Dolphins are 2 and 3 ... but that don't mean much cause they got that thar "wild cat". Of course, San Diego has got Drew Brees... Now they may "call him the breeze" ... but them Fins are a gonna blow him and his team down the road. Big upset here folks... and y'all heard it here first! Go with the Fins!

Philadelphia Eagles (3-2) at Washington Redskins (2-4)
All right! Monday night Football! It's them Eagles goin' against them Redskins. Now them boys from Washington are a lookin' like they are as limber as a dishrag ... so I guess them Philadelphia boys is gonma do more than just dishes with the Eagles. I suspect they is a gonna mop the floor ... and even the outhouse with them.

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks - now, I tell you what, if y'all remembered I said that I'd like me some BBQ sauce. Well, fer all a you folks who will be a rollin' in the dough from my picks what I just gave you well, don't ferget me!. So git on over to - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with some of that BBQ sauce ...!

This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words of advice ... A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end. That thar means: be what y'all are supposed ... yourselves.

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