Friday, October 23, 2009
Well howdy folks! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 7 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League, where a tight-end and a defensive end are two very different things. Now last week, I had to eat me some crow a bit fer some a muh picks. I picked 6 straight on but came up as short as "Uncle Nort" form that good "Ole Mountain Dew" song ... on some other 8 games. I reckon this week is a gonna be good. So let's get on it!
Atlanta Falcons (4-1) at Dallas Cowboys (3-2)
All right, first up we got us them Falcons and them Cowboys. Them Dallas boys are "home, home on the range" ... though more than likely they're a gonna be more like lost on the range. Cause I reckon that thar Matt Ryan a gonna find him some holes in that thar Dallas defense.
Chicago Bears (3-2) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)
Ok, now we got us them Bears vs. them Bengals. Hmmm seems like this one's gonna have lots a clawin' goin' on. Will them Bengals lose their stripes again this week like they did with them Texans? Now I tell you what, I think that thar Jay Cutler's in the pressure cooker to perform what with all that new money he's a gonna be gittin rom that new contract. So, I think he's a gonna git the tiger by the tail this week ... the Bengal tiger that is.
Indianapolis Colts (5-0) at St. Louis Rams (0-6)
Next up is them Colts vs. them Rams .... Poor rams. What else do y'all want me to say? it's a 5-0 team vs. a O-6 team. It don't take a rocket scientist to know where to pin the tail on the donkey fer this game.
Minnesota Vikings (6-0) at Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)
All right, now we got us Minnesota vs. Pittsburgh. Burt Favre proved me wrong last week - I admit it. And he is a aimin' fer 7 and 0 ... but I still think them Vikings are due fer the short end of the eatin' stick ... and I think them Steeler's gunslingere ole' Roethlisberger is a gonna be a busier than a one-armed paper-hanger .... it's gonna be a tough one .. but I say go with them Steelers.
New England Patriots (4-2) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-6)
Next up is them Patriots and them Buccaneers. Now they're a off to London this week to share a bowl of some "Cheerios" with the Queen and to show them good folks from across the pond what some smash mouth football is all about. Only problem is that Tampa Bay is still one can short of a six-pack ... and ole' Tom Brady's is a gonna make sure it's stay's that way. So it's... "Pip Pip" fer New England... and Zip Zip fer them Buccaneers.
Buffalo Bills (2-4) at Carolina Panthers (2-3)
Ok, it's them Bills vs. them Panthers. Now Buffalo surprised me last week by beatin' the Jets. But them Carolina boys ... well they performed as expected. To tell y'all truth, I think the thrills in this game are a gonna be as scarce as hen's teeth. So I just gave my little pigskin a spin ... and ... well ... as expected it pointed to them Panthers. ... so that's what I'm expectin' ... and I don't aim to drink no "expectorant" if the Bills shoot down my expectations. Know what I mean? I think you do.
San Francisco 49ers (3-2) at Houston Texans (3-3)
All right, yonder comes them 49ers vs them Texans. Now them 49ers are comin' off a a bye week this week uh .. what they had last week... uh .. maybe they best be takin' another week off cause I think them Houston boys are a gonna 86 them 49ers like they did with them kitty cats last week from Cincinatti.
Green Bay Packers (3-2) at Cleveland Browns (1-5)
Let's see now we got us them 3 and 2 Packers vs. them 1 and 5 Browns. Hmm.. Now last week. them Cleveland Boys look plumb tuckered out ... and them Packers .. well they sort looked like they were hotter than a ... well at least a $1 pistol, I reckon ... so I just as well will stick with them over Mangini's boys.
San Diego Chargers (2-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)
Next up. another 1 and 5 team. It's them Chiefs and them 2 and 4 Chargers. Now, if and theres's one thing I love it's BBQ sauce from Kansas City. So when them San Diego boy's go to town on them Cheifs ... well, I hope they will be kindly enough to save fer me some of that thar BBQ sauce after they git finished BBQing Kansas City.
New York Jets (3-3) at Oakland Raiders (2-4)
Ok, we got us next them Jets vs, them Raiders. Mark Sanchez ... well, I guess he's been feelin' lower than a ... well let me just put to y'all this way: he's like poor boy who a has ta borrow him some money to buy some water to cry with. Now them Oakland boys, well, they were good as grits this week ... but I think it's gonna be them who a gonna be doin' the cryin'.
Arizona Cardinals (3-2) at New York Giants (5-1)
Next up is them Cardinals and them Giants. I tell you what, this here is a gonna be a good game! Both of them quarterbacks are a gonna put the ball up in the air. ... and who's a endzone is it a gonna land in the most? I say them Giants. Peyton Manning is a hungry. Look out! The menu says bird is the catch of the day.
New Orleans Saints (5-0) at Miami Dolphins (2-3)
All right, I tell you what, this next game here is my game of the week. It's muh Dolphins vs. them Saints. The Saints are still undefeated ... and well that don't bode too well when teams like that come to Miami. The Dolphins are 2 and 3 ... but that don't mean much cause they got that thar "wild cat". Of course, San Diego has got Drew Brees... Now they may "call him the breeze" ... but them Fins are a gonna blow him and his team down the road. Big upset here folks... and y'all heard it here first! Go with the Fins!
Philadelphia Eagles (3-2) at Washington Redskins (2-4)
All right! Monday night Football! It's them Eagles goin' against them Redskins. Now them boys from Washington are a lookin' like they are as limber as a dishrag ... so I guess them Philadelphia boys is gonma do more than just dishes with the Eagles. I suspect they is a gonna mop the floor ... and even the outhouse with them.
All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks - now, I tell you what, if y'all remembered I said that I'd like me some BBQ sauce. Well, fer all a you folks who will be a rollin' in the dough from my picks what I just gave you well, don't ferget me!. So git on over to www.jugmongers.com - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with some of that BBQ sauce ...!
This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words of advice ... A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end. That thar means: be what y'all are supposed ... yourselves.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Well howdy folks! I've updated my podcast fer my picks fer week 6 of the NFL. I'm postin' the transcript below fer y'all what don't like listenin' to muh voice! Enjoy!
This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 6 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League. Where them perfessional players are as big as an icebox - whereas some them amatuer players cain't afford an ice box. Now last week, I picked 9 of them games again. Yes sir - that thar was good! So let's get on it!
All right first up we got us them Redskins vs. them Chiefs. That thar is a regular pow wow. But I it's gonna be them Redskins that are gonna be beatin' the war drums on them Chiefs hides. The Chief should run fer the hills ... but the truth be known .. it don't look like the Chief's an run .... nor can they stop the run.
Next is them Browns and them Steelers. Looks like theirs gonna be lots stealin' goin' ... cause them brown receivers can't seem to hold on to the ball much! Now folks it ain't a wild hog its just a little pigskin. If y'all are a gonna drop the ball so much - well ya might as well just drop your pants and git.
Ok, it's them Giants and them Saints. I tell you what, them Giants ran fer like two hundered and twenty yards last week .... and oh yeah they got them Eli Manning too! Cain St. Drew Brees perform a miracle in Giant's Stadium? I reckon not. If y'all are Saints fans ... well, I'd startin' prayin' early on on Friday.
Next is them Arizoney Cardinals vs. them Seattle Seahawks. Matt Hasslebeck is back ... say that 5 times I dare you. He likes to throw ball lots. And, well ... them Cardinals sure seem to like them opposing quarterback to throw ball a lot. So reckon we know where this here game in a gonna end up. Kurt Warner, you say? Yep her sure like to throw ball lots too ... but as they say across the pond ... it will be all fer naught.
All right . Now we got us them Panthers vs. them Buccaneers. Tampa Bay is O and 5. This here game ought to be called the "Slippery Sloppy Bowl" cause I prognosticate there's gonna a be lots a balls a slippin' and a slidin' away from both teams. It shivers me timbers to say it ... if folks, but I don't think them Bucaroos is a gonna be very Jolly Rogers like again this week. Sorry boys.
Now, them Lions go up against them boys from Green Bay. The Lions are 1 and 4. But you know, they say even a blind hog can find it an acorn ever now and then. And I tell you what I think Gang Green Green is gonna be a just that this week. Gang green.
Ok, it's them Baltimore Raves vs. Minnesota Vikings. Joe Flacco vs. Burt Favre. Hmmm ... now some folks say the Vikings, at 5 and 0, are goin' to the super bowl this year. Well, I think Joe Flacco is gonna give them purple boys a bit of a speed bump this week and the wrong end of the stick, if you know what I mean. I think you do.
All right it's them Jaguars vs. them Rams. Now I tell you what, Cousin Jedidiah said that I've been mighty hard on them Rams of late... and I reckon he's right. But I tell you what .. it ain't gonna be me eatin' the crow the week ... it's gonna be them Rams again. O and 6 is a callin' and it ain't fer them Jaguars. Poor Rams.
Now we got us them Eagles vs. them Raiders. Heck, thar ain't no raisin' sand over this one - what with the Raiders feelin' poorly and all. Take the Eagles, hoss!
Them Bengals boys have won their last four games. Glory be. I tell you what ... I betcha they don't make it to 5 straight. Now, Carson Palmer has been a runnin' and a runnin' all over that thar pocket... and some folks think that thar's a good thang! If an iut were me I'd be might tired what with all that scramblin' around. It also seems to me that them Texans have had their time in the wood shed - so I think this here's the week that they put that thar Palmer outta his misery.
Now last week my Dolphin's made ole' Rex Ryan and his Jets look like bumps on a log at the end that thar game last week. Well done boys - y'all made me proud - and I'm gonna miss y'all this bye week . But ... mean while them Jet's go after them Bills this week. Someone's a gonna pay ... and it looks like them Bills ... well they just ain't got no credit. And the next comin' of Broadway Joe? Well, I think he'll be smilin' purty fer the cameras come Monday.
All right, it's them Tennessee Titans vs. them New England Patriots. Now I hear that thar Tom Brady is still mighty sore after last week's losin'. I seen Tom Brady when he's angry ... and I do declare that he's gonna go a hog wild on them Texans ... who'll be takin' the short bus home from the stadium.
Ok, we got us them Bears vs them Falcons. Both teams are 3 and 1 and ... well I tell you what, I had to give my little pigskin a spin on this one ... and it pointed to them Falcons. I think this here game is more important to them Falcons than it is them Bears. Them Falcons can catch them Saints ,,,,, there ain't no way them Bear is a gonna catch them Vikings .. no way no how.
All right! It's Monday Night Football - and it's them Chargers vs. them Broncos. You know, my sweety deety Jolene says that "the Sun don't shine on the same dog's tail all the time". She thinks them Broncos at 5 and 0 are due fer a spill. Can the Chargers git charged up to give it to 'em? I reckon not ... but I think them Broncos are gonna shoot themselves in the foots this week, some how.
All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks - now, I tell you what, if you like them buffalo wings half as much as I do then you'll understand that I just know that all you kindly folks out thar who'll be winnin' big with my picks what I just gave to you, well y'all are a gonna want to send me some a your winnin's thar. And I and my kin will thank you to do so. So git ahead on over to www.jugmongers.com - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and see how y'all can set me up with some buffalo wings fer the week!
This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words of wisdom ... Be happy with what y'all got until y'all git what y;all want.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I hope y'all are comin' a long with y'alls Halloween preperationals! In honor of all them pumpkins and bumpkins this month we put up, on our MySpace site, a new song what we recorded live in Juno, Florida some time ago. It's gonna be another what we put our CD, "Jugmongers: Live At The Hootenanny!". Hope y'all enjoy! Check it out at: www.myspace.com/jugmongers
In the mean time, to git y'all in the spirits, here are a some a my favorite Halloween Jokes:
Olive and Phillip.
Olive and Phillip who?
Olive Halloween so Phillip my tricker treatin' bag cus we is goin' tricker treatin!
2)What does a witch eat at the beach?A Sandwitch on a stick!!
3) Why didn't the ghost go to the halloween hootenanny? Cuz he had no body to go with!! !
4) Knock, Knock
How are my going to get in to give me your money if you don't open the door?
5)What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
All the best!
- Judd Jugmonger
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Well howdy folks! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 5 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League. Where them big boys play in the Good Ole USA ... and they don't wear little shorts neither... Now last week, I picked 9 correctly of them games. Yes sir - that thar was good!
Ok, first up we got them Cowboys and them Cheifs .... that's thar's a regular game a cowboys and injuns. Well, it looks like Tony Romo and company are a gonna do what Eli Manning and company did to them Cheif's last week. That's right. Cheifs take the short bus home from the stadium once again.
Next up is them Vikings and them Rams. I tell you what, I feel sorry fer them Rams, cause I think Bert Favre is a gonna take a few nips of that thar special "Geritol" he got himself thar and git his team all fired up again - just like he done last week against his old team in Green Bay. Poor Rams.
All right. It's the Browns vs. the Bills. Now, both a them teams found themselves down in the dumps last week. So, who's a gonna win the battle of the losers this week? Well, I think the Bills are fairly ornery what with the tar and featherin' they got down in Miami. At O and 4 the Browns just cain't git out a the dog-house ... or the outhouse ... or wherever it is they is.
Ok, Them Steelers vs. them Lions. Now I was wrong about them Steelers last week gitin' zapped and all. I admit it. But this week ... I just think them Lions is gonna git back some of their growl. Go with Detroit!
Hey, y'all ever hear of a "New York Cheer"? Well, that what them Raiders are a gonna be hearin' a ringing in their heads this Sunday... and probably all next week .. even though Eli Mannin' seems to be hobblin' about on one foot.
All right. now it's them Bucanneers and them Eagles. Them boys from Tampa Bay have been sleepin' with the fishes the past few weeks. Now I think they is a startin' to wake up ... but first they gotsta find their way outta Davy Jones Locker... cause them Eagles have flown off with the key. Take the Eagles "hoss".
Now it's the Redskins and the Panthers. Nothin' could be finer than be to be in Caroliner .... and don't the Panthers know it! Them Redskins won't know what hit 'em.
Bengals Vs. them Ravens. Both teams are 3 and 1. Looks like them Balitmore fellers might have a field day with them Bengals. Joe Flacco is a gonna go whacko on them Bengals. Yep, you heard it here, boys.
Ok, it's them Falcons vs. them 49ers. Now this one was a mighty hard one fer me to pick. So I just spun me my little pigskin here... and it pointed to them Falcolns. I cain't not disagree. It's gonna be a close one, though.
All right. Now we gotta a battle betwixt them 1 and 2 Cardinals and them 2 and 2 Texans ... a 1 a 2 a 1 2 3 5 ... oops that don't add up ... and neither does Arizoney's running game. Sorry boys.
Ok, it's them Jaguars vs them Seahawks. Them kitties from J-A-X proved me wrong last week. So I'm a gonna go with them ... especially how them Seatle boys are still feelin' poorly.
Ok, Tom Brady and his Patriots roll into Denver this week and face them 4-0 Broncos. The Broncos are 4 and 0? Imagine that! Well I don't reckon they is a gonna make it 5 and 0. And I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that one, neither.
Now it's them Colts vs. them Titans. Peyton Mannin' and the Colts are a sittin pretty at the top o' the four corners of the world .... looks like them Titans are still sittin' in the outhouse, though. Will thar be a big upset this week? I reckon not.
All right MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL and the game of the week. It's them Jets and them Dolphins. I think the next comin' a "Broadway Joe" got rattled last week... and my Fins ... well they done me proud. Lets make it 2 in a row boys ... keep that runnin' game goin'. Oh .. and Mark Sanchez? Well I think he's a gonna need a powder again this week.
That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh opicks! Now, I tell you what, fer all a y'all that win big on muh "insights" - well - go ahead and send me some a your winins ... If and you do ... I do you some BBQ ribs with all the fixin's ...heck, I'll even throw in a beer. I promise. Go to www.jugmongers.com - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and see how you can send me some money fer that thar BBQ. I thank you kindly.
All right. This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words of wisdom ... when in doubt ... go fer the endzone.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
This here is Judd Jugmonger. Guess what? Some kin suggested that I do a podcast with my weekly picks fer the NFL - that thar's American Football for those a you not here in the good ole' USA. Ya see, ever week I go down to the Katywonkered Cafe' and have some key lime pie and what not ... and give my picks to all that's thar. So we decided to record my picks and put them up in the Internet. I'm workin' to git the podcast up on the Internet - but in the meantime here is my Week 4 picks what I said in my podcast. I reckon you'd a call this a transcript. Ok ... here it goes .... close you eyes and pertend y'all can hear me a talkin' .....
Howdy! This here is Judd Jugmonger and I'm live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is my picks for the NFL, that thar's the National Football League - thar ain't no soccer thar ... just good ole' American passin' and handin' off the pigskin fer a touchdown.
So this here is a week 4. And here we go...
Ok - We got us the Ravens Vs. the Patriots. Looks like them Pats is a gonna have them a feast today - but it ain't gonna be crow ... them Ravens is on the menu - the way I see it.
All right now the Redskins, well they play them thar Buccaneers. I tell you what... someone is a gonna get scalped ... so thar ain't gonna be no "yo ho ho" in Tampa today.
Ok - Now we got us the Titans from Tennessee vs. them Jaguars from Jacksonville... now you know I like them Florida teams ... but I tell you what ... them kitties are a gonna git themselves squashed in a Bluegrass Stomp care a the good ole' boys from a Tennessee.
Next up is them Raiders from Oakland vs. them Texans from Houston - Now the way I see it is that the only raidin' them raiders are gonna do is the icebox fer some comfort food... when the Texans make road kill outta them.
Ok - The Bears vs. The Lions .. who's a gonna be the king a the jungle this week? Well them thar Lions are gonna have to do them some learnin' to "Grin and Bear it" cause I think them boys from Chicago are a gonna show em' their bear claws. Look out ...
All right now we got us some Ohio boys -but it ain't the Buckeyes ... it's them Bengals from Cincinnati and them Browns from Cleveland... I tell you what we is a gonna see a lot brown tonight cause them Bengals are fixin' to kick them some Cleveland butt.
Ok, who's next - bring em on... let's see we got us here ... the Giants vs. the Chiefs... Looks like the Chiefs will be ridin' the short bus home from the stadium... Eli Manning and Co. is gonna spring for the gas - I hear.
All right - now we got us the Jets Vs. the Saints. Mark Sanchez... well that thar pretty boy is doin' a bang up job up North thar. But some folks think the Saints are gonna make em' pray ... but I tell you what I think them Jets are gonna send them Saints back to seminary school.
All right - game of the week - them Fins vs. the Bills. Now y'all know I'm a big Miami fan form way back and them fish a gonna start them a new QB tonight what's name is Chad Henne .... not Penny. Now even though them Dolphins are down by three ... I think there's gonna be a resurrections this week. Now Buffalo' a playin' good these days .... but they is a gonna be fish food tonight. If and they don't ... well someone here's a gonna pitch a fit.
That's right - you heard it here first.
Ok - it's the Cowboys and the Broncos who are unbeaten ... well not for long that is.
All right - next up is the Rams vs. the 49s - Them boys from St. Louis ain't won a game yet ... I reckon it's gonna stay that way this week too. Poor rams....
Now it's the Chargers vs. them Steelers.... I think the Steelers are gonna git zapped ... it's gonna be a close one though....
Finally Monday Night Football - Them Packers vs. them Vikings... good game .... break out the beer cause Burt Favre ... gonna send his old team Packin'...
Well that's a bout it ... that thar is muh picks - now if and some a y'all are the bettin' kind and ya'll win some Liquor money ... well, I hope y'all be kind enough to share some with me - especially how I gave y'all them picks here. So send me your money - go to www.jugmongers.com and see how you can send me some money fer some beer or what not. I thank you kindly.
All right. This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some of advice ...remember - everyday above ground .... is a good one.